The hidden text, if anyone wants to take a crack at it is:
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that’s not hidden text — it’s secret alien code. the part i can decipher says “claim to be born in hawaii.”
I like “lee lexico desozibed.” I may be forced to retire “Protect Our Freedom.”
I have simply GOT to have that email address!
I highly recommend not getting that stuff on your hands. Don't ask me how I know.