Bump!
Works for me!
Doctors report “No truth implants could be grown inside Obummer`s mouth.”
I dont usually weigh in on political issues but this damned country of ours is driving me to distraction and its time someone got it sorted out.
So, for the benefit of any politician who stumbles across this I will be spending the next 10 weeks outlining simple steps that can be taken to help create a better America.
Today, I tackle the prickly issue of health care reform.
In my view, this country needs to surgically remove its head from its ass and stop flirting with god damned socialized medicine.
Call me old-fashioned but Id rather pay to have a Lexus-driving quack prod my polyps than get treatment for free from Dr. Zhivago and his pinko comrades at the Vladimir Tretiak Memorial Hospital.
If a doctor doesnt have a monetary interest in examining my testicles then just what the hell is he doing with his hands down my trousers in the first place? Anyone who wants to manhandle my bolsheviks is going to a capitalist and an American patriot god damn it.
Besides, once you give people access to free medical treatment theyre going to start using it. Mr. and Mrs. Average America will be flooding into emergency rooms across the country every time they get the collywobbles, catch a brain fever or lose an arm in a combine harvester.
(When I was a boy the rule of thumb was if you couldnt sew an appendage back on at home, you fed it to the pigs and got back to work. You sure as Hell didnt run off to a hospital and expect other taxpayers to foot the bill.)
Its a slippery slope. Offer people free health care and the next thing you know theyll be demanding clean water, safe working environments, flying cars and access to domesticated monkeys.
Theyll get complacent and forget about even trying to prevent injury. It wont be long before people will stop wearing seat-belts and start bathing with clock radios and toasters confident in the knowledge that the American taxpayer will remedy any foolish injury they happen to incur.
We need to drive a rusty bone saw through the heart of this foolishness. Expensive health care makes good economic sense. You dont need to be J.P. Morgan to recognize that if were serious about eradicating poverty in this county and re-establishing a decent quality of life, the quickest way to do is to make sure that only the rich can afford to get medical treatment.
Trust me - if we can just stay the course and fend off health care reform for another decade or two most of the poor people will have died off from untreated heart disease, diabetes or alcohol-related firearm tragedies and we can all get back to sitting on park benches sipping lemonade without fear of having our wallets lifted and organs harvested by impoverished nogoodniks.
And thats an America I think wed all like to see.
Next week: Straightening out Gay Marriage
~ Don Mills ~
bump
That is absolutely incredible! Medical science is advancing so rapidly nowadays. There was a story in a medical journal about a new technique to help people with disfigurements. Say your ear is badly mangled in an auto accident. Doctors can now remove it, graft it on a pig and, once it’s healed, re-attach it. In a few years, they believe they’ll be able to graft a man’s entire face on a pig. The only problem they foresee is that the guy’s wife may run away with it.
Duncan Keith, please pick up the white courtesy phone. . . .