When I was a kid... 
I once thought I was human but it was only a batch... 
of bad beer.
I occasionally like to feel my famine side... 
especially if it get me free drinks!
At the bar last night... 
that was YOU?
I keep all my chicks so satisfied... 
they never feel like roosters.
I occasionally feel like a woman... 
especially with a side order of red cabbage.
My kid brother kept saying he was really a girl... 
but he stopped after I shot his big toe off.
And imagine that Shatner told me... 
I was crazy for feeling that way!
Ever time my doc... 
gets out his glove, I wish... 
I was a girl!
Clyde once said he thought he was a girl... 
but after I dropped him in the male gorilla cage for a night, he stopped all that crap.
Me and my Deadskin Tribe... 
all wish we were squaws!
If I were a woman... 
what would I do with my steel balls?
One of my writers said they wanted to be a woman... 
but after a night of wild sex with me, he went back to being a just funny looking guy.
Looks like I picked the wrong day to give up sniffing glue... 
and wanting a sex change operation!
Ya know, in Spain, when a I feel like a woman... 
I just get an extra hooker.
John, George and Ringo all felt like we were really a girl band... 
but they stopped it when I suggest we call ourselves "Paula and the Pussycats!"
Any you blokes out there want to be woman... 
I can make that happen!
Ya know big... 
threads like this makes me feel sad for you humans.
It makes me wish... 
I were drunker--
And with a big batch... 
of donuts!