Next, Scouting will be keeping them safe by not letting them carry pointy sticks or dangerous strings (which could, of course, be used as a garrote). Soon belts, neckerchiefs, and laced shoes will be removed from the uniform. And heavy hiking boots could be thrown, so Scouts will be restricted to thongs (flip-flops) and trainers less than a given weight. Most other Boy Scout kit will need to go as well, that being heavy, hard, pointy, or loud. The British Boy Scouts will become the Girl Scouts... but then what's to be done about needlepoint?
Lord Baden-Powell must be spinning in his grave.
Also, we must never let the secret of fire-making be propagated amonst the masses lest we lose rich eco-systems to man’s unquenchable lust for warmth and roasted weiners. Instead, scouts will spend more time indoors knitting plush baby dolls (with blunt knitting needles) that they can pretend to nurse in sympathy to the matriarchal ideal.
King of the Hill had an episode about the pussification of outdoor boys clubs, it was pretty classic.
Freegards