No vodka ....
Yep, that's it. It seems a very long piece to give a very short answer.
Hell, I don’t drink cocktails much less “Mocktails”. Scotch rocks, Crown Royal neat, mostly beer or wine. But never, ever, Mocktails.
Most everyone, well not most. EVERYONE, I know drinks for effect. Otherwise, what’s the point? Really, how many would actually drink a concoction that tastes like scotch but without the alcohol? I’ll tell you. NO ONE.
And no, I didn’t actually click the link. Is it actually serious or more tongue-in-cheek?
IMO, all booze tastes terrible. One drinks it only for the effect of the alcohol. Without that, might as well drink Welsh’s grape juice.