Posted on 09/25/2008 11:12:07 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB
Same thing happened in Arkansas... except the doctor used duct tape.
I’m gonna report you for abuse!
(I am laughing so hard I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach... if that ain’t abuse then the word has no meaning!)
Wow, that’s funny!
Maybe we all should have this procedure done to keep congress from sticking it to us.
I couldn’t resist, I copied it from another thread earlier this week!
Ronald Reagan used to tell a story about two brothers, one who was hopelessly pessimistic, the other persistently optimistic. Because they were at extreme ends, the father locked each into a room by himself. The pessimistic boy was locked in a room filled with every toy imaginable, and the optimistic boy was locked in a room filled with horse sh!t. The father decided that this might bring the pessimistic boy up a few pegs, and the optimistic boy down a few.
The next day, he checked on his two sons. In the room full of toys, the father found his pessimistic son crying. When he asked what was wrong, the boy said he was afraid to play with his toys because he might break them. When he checked in on the optimist, he found the boy gleefully digging through the piles of sh!t, as if it were Christmas morning.
“WHAT are you doing?” the father asked with horror.
The son looked at him full of joy and said, “With all this horsesh!t in here, there’s GOT to be a pony in here somewhere!”
>> I couldn’t resist, I copied it from another thread earlier this week!
I can’t resist either... I stole it for my (s)crapbook.
It’s “apropos” with a capital “A”.
You’d think he would have noticed before 17 days, huh?
The one with the quickest reaction time.
Normally you have to travel to Carroll County for this kind of healthcare.
So, exactly hgy did it take this guy 17 days to figure that his rectum was stapled shut?
Now that’s funny right there. I don’t care who you are.
I remember that one now that you mention it. Thanks for that. :)
This is turning out to be a really funny thread.
I don’t know how this works with people, but a few years ago I had a dog that had a hernia. The vet stapled him up, and the dog didn’t poop for several days. When he recovered, I took him back to the vet to have the staples removed. When the vet pulled the staples, the dog had a happy fit, dashed around the room, and produced a pile of poop that would have filled a wastebasket. I went outside and threw up, the vet cleaned up the poop, and the dog lived a long and happy life.
That's ok, great minds think alike.
By the way, her husband ran to help her, and he accidently walked into the same propeller. "It won't be long now," was all he could utter.
Earlier this year, I had to go on Darvocet for three or four days, and it caused such a huge case of constipation that I almost freaked out.
I won’t gross you out by describing my time on the pot after taking myself off the Darvocet, but suffice to say it wasn’t a pleasant 90 minutes. I made up my mind that I wasn’t leaving until I settled that matter - I’ll just say that.
I cannot imagine 17 days.
A liberal and a conservative were walking down a dusty road, when they came upon a little boy playing by the side of the road. Upon closer inspection, the little boy appeared to be making a figurine out of dog poop. The liberal wandered over to investigate.
After exchanging a few words with the lad, the liberal started shaking his head and laughing uncontrollably. He went back over to the conservative, who was standing nearby, and said, “C’mere! You gotta see this!”.
So the pair went back to the little boy, industriously molding his little poop-figure. The liberal says to the conservative, “Ask him what he’s making.”.
“OK... what ARE you making, young man?”
“A conservative”, replies the lad.
The liberal resumes laughing until the conservative asks, with more than a hint of frustration in his voice, “Why a conservative”?
Without even looking up, the lad says, “...because I don’t have enough POOP here to make a liberal!”
>> “It won’t be long now,” was all he could utter.
ROFL! New material! THANKS!!!
No sh*t?
"Last I saw was the monkey trying to get the cork back in..."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.