MORFORD: You are not reading enough

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 7/9/8 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

Has the Internet killed the joys of sitting down with a good book?

The pile is waiting. The pile is getting higher. The pile looks impressive, probably isn't, still feels slightly overwhelming, vaguely threatening, even as it sighs, waits, drums its fingers on the inside of my skull, promising all manner of wonder and insight and syntactical bliss if I'd just, please, maybe, right now, even for just an hour or three, pay it some serious, focused attention. Please? It's a bit of a problem. More than that, it's a moral, ethical, personal issue, a deep indignity of the soul, a painful twist to the nipple of my id.

See, I love books. Admire and appreciate and adore. Was a lit major at Berkeley, read voraciously, still love to read, still like to consider myself a big consumer of books and deep thinker about bookish issues and ideas and authoralia.

And yet, if I'm painfully honest, I have to admit it: I barely read . . .

[SmithL]

Morfordite Alert

You have been warned!

[SmithL]

You can barely write, either.

Stringing together run-on sentences doesn't make you a writer.

[JamesP81]

bttt

[ClearCase_guy]

The pile is waiting. The pile is getting higher. The pile looks impressive, probably isn't, still feels slightly overwhelming, vaguely threatening, even as it sighs, waits, drums its fingers on the inside of my skull

He's describing his typical column, right? I always think of his writing as a pile.

[avacado]

"And yet, if I'm painfully honest, I have to admit it: I barely read . . . I have BDS...

[Eurale]

But, books cause de-forestation! What to do now?

[RichInOC]

No, Markie. It doesn’t.

[steve-b]

The pile is getting higher.

< TRELAINE > Really, Morford, you must try harder -- this is too easy!!

[Misschuck]

This guy’s writing is horrible to read. And if he can’t concentrate to read a book that is his issue. Some of us can.

[riverdawg]

“Stringing together run-on sentences doesn't make you a writer.”

Morford’s columns remind me of Truman Capote's alleged dismissal of Jack Kerouac's On the Road: “That's not writing. That's typing.”

[KarlInOhio]

I read Morford's articles to see if he has said something intelligent and interesting in much the same way I check out a monkey at a typewriter to see if "To be, or not to be: that is the question." is somewhere on the page. I haven't had much luck in either case.

[Russ]

His columns don't even need a Barf Alert anymore. You know what's coming just by reading his name. I would, however, like it if FR could be declared a Morford-Free Zone. Since he never has anything worthwhile to say, why give him the space? Do we like pain that much?

[Flycatcher]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is the first bit of Morford nonsense I agree with. Yes, his literary style has "college sophomore who wants to write for Rolling Stone magazine" written all over it, but he makes an interesting point. When I delve into meaty, lengthy works of true literary art, time does seem to slow down and the bigger things in life start coming into focus. There's a trade-off; when I'm away from my computer, I do feel like I'm missing out on the action, but when I return to it, I realize (as did Morford) that I really haven't missed anything.

99% of the time, Morford is an idiot. But with this one essay, I consider him to be like a broken clock. In the course of a day, he'll be right twice. This was one of those times.

[Steely Tom]

Has the Internet killed the joys of sitting down with a good book?

If the act of sitting down is no longer joyful for Mr. Morford, I would suggest he check into something other than the internet for the reason.

[VR-21]

I agree with you Flycatcher. As revolting as I find Morford, I love reading books too, and would love to have back some of the time I've wasted on-line to do so.

[Flycatcher]

I figured out a way we can rationalize our position: We're not actually defending Morford just this once, we're defending the love of great books. I think that'll work for us. LOL!

[SmithL]

The Morfordite speaks for many San Franciscans. I suspect that’s why he’s tolerated here.

[bravo whiskey]

i agree too. first thing, stop reading left wing idiots like morfordite.

from the article “was a lit major at berkeley.” explains how he can’t find a real job.

“got my macbook back, spent a few hours, got caught up and realized i’d missed exactly nothing.” kinda like how i feel after reading almost all of your writing.

[Billthedrill]

Miss Morford risks killing off his meal ticket here. Were I to have to reduce my intake of mind-numbing, treacly, overinflated, brimming tubs of hyperbole and utter nonsense then his column would be first on the list.

Fortunately (for him, not me) that step is unlikely to be necessary. The Web isn't "rewiring" anyone's brain who doesn't have access to the on/off button. A person with a stack of books and a logged-in computer can actually choose which to indulge in at any given moment. Really. I've tried it myself.

This "choice" thingy can be a subversive concept. Its corollary is that the chooser is responsible for the choice and the outcome. That can be sort of tough for people such as Miss Morford for whom all life is spent dangling on the strings of some unseen marionette artist such as Bushco, Big Oil, the KKKorporations, etc, etc. It isn't his fault he's gay, angry, frustrated, a Lit major, a Mac user, and a writer of stupefying incompetence. No, it's someone else rewiring his brain. Dang them all.

There is, in addition, something that those of us have noticed who still can manage to break free of Internet brainwashing long enough to use a book as something more than a monitor stand, and that's the sad fact that there are quite a few more bad books than good, and the fact that one has gotten a laudatory writeup in some dreary literary screed is precious little guidance. One can choose to shut them and use them as, well, monitor stands - it may be their finest moment.