No Fawn. Take a deep breath. If such an important issue was true I think God would have let us know.
I do not think you are evil. The Johnie scenario is wrong in today’s world, but were earlier ancestors wrong when they killed animals for clothing. God killed some to cloth Adam and Eve when they were cast from the garden.
I can see you are empathetic to all of God’s creatures and that is good. I will say that I firmly believe God gave us creatures to use that is why they are not covered under “thou shalt not murder”. He allows us to hunt ( and I do ) because he said we could. I also used to raise beef for slaughter to help feed people. Is that wrong. God did not intend for us to be vegetarians or we’d have a rumen system.