Posted on 04/01/2008 3:49:48 AM PDT by llevrok
Boston Dirt Dogs has learned today that former Red Sox great Roger Clemens will return to Boston and pitch one final season in an attempt to rescue the beleaguered BoSox rotation. Theo Epstein reportedly was sold on signing Clemens after fully digesting the 18,000-word statistical report Hendricks Sports Management issued to rebut accusations that the pitcher's career rebounded about the time he was accused by that scoundrel Brian McNamee of using performance-enhancing drugs. Epstein is expected to announce the $40 million deal, done completely behind the scenes, later this morning. Red Sox manager Terry Francona will name Clemens as the Red Sox fifth starter. Clemens is tentatively slated to join the team in mid-July after an extended spring training. The Hendricks report compared Clemens' performance during the second half of his career to those of Nolan Ryan, Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson. Theo was sold. Epstein also referenced Clemens' testimony before Congress, where the Hall of Fame lock denied use of any performance-enhancing drugs. That clear and focused testimony convinced the nation, and Epstein, that the Rocket wasn't fueled by anything illegal during his time in Toronto and New York and that his legacy will remain in tact. After Clemens speaks to the media at a press conference today, his longtime attorney Rusty Hardin will also be introduced as the man who will attempt to fill the deep void left when Dr. Charles Steinberg bolted for Los Angeles and scored a coup by locking up Marilyn McCoo for the LA Coliseum extravaganza on Saturday night. That's when John Henry made the call to Hardin. In Hardin's first act as Red Sox Maestro, he reportedly asked Jose Canseco to speak at the Clemens press conference. * - Oh, and while you are digesting this story, don't forget to check the calendar.
(Excerpt) Read more at bostondirtdogs.boston.com ...
Right.............
Aren’t you supposed to shout “April Fools”??
Be glad it’s a joke, he’s lost his mojo.
I heard they’re signing Sid Finch, too!
April Fools!
Not funny.
Carl Yastrzemski too?
Not to mention Eddie Guidell as the DH (he was the little person that Bill Veeck had pinch hit once)
That was classic!
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