I have raised 3 children all successful so I hope you consider my thoughts and opinions valuable. One of these children was a problem child. Extremely rebellious, oppositional etc. Very hard to raise.
At about the same age she announced to me one day that she was sick of school and not going anymore. I told her that apparantly she believed that she was an adult capable of making her own decisions and I therefore was going to start treating her like an adult. She was very happy for about 30 seconds.
I explained that as an adult she was now responsible for herself including supporting herself. She was welcome to still live with us but she would have to start paying room and board as once one finishes school in our home we consider them an adult. That means I am no longer responsible for buying your clothing, toothpaste, bath towels and a place to live for free.
If she was able to support herself and take care of herself without finishing school then I would support her decision and independence. I wasn't going to argue with her. I just told her to let me know what her decision was. She went to school the next day.
In our house until you are able to support yourself I am footing the bill for you and therefore you will do as I say. You are giving your daughter too much power. Parents live in too much fear of their own children.
Once she finishes high school she can make her own decisions. If she chooses to go to college then give her more choices. If she is paying her own way like mine did, they chose the school and we helped them out. But we let them know that once they were finished they had to find a job and support themselves. They all had jobs while in school and lived at home for free during breaks.
They all are married, successful adults and we never had major problems with them. The daughter I am talking about went on to earn two master's degrees and a PHD. We are very close to our children and have great relationships with them.
Your daughter is still to young to make these types of important decisions. While she may want to have some input the final decision has to be yours as you are the adult and the parent and know what is best for her at this point. She may be mad at you for awhile but believe me, she'll get over it.
Children think they are adults because they reach a certain age or because they say they are. Being an adult comes with corresponding responsibilites, none of which at her age she will be able to fulfill. She will quickly realize that she cannot take care of herself yet and she will have to do things your way. Yes, she will be angry. So what? It won't be the first time nor the last.
Take my advice for what you think it is worth and good luck to you and your daughter! Someday you will be walking her down the aisle proud as can be and all this will be a bad memory. Believe me!
I see this so much today that it's scary what we are giving to the future. My boy is 14 and my girl is 11 and I get to witness first hand what is going on with them and their friends. Some parents just can not say no and live their lives as their children being all that is important even if that means raising spoiled brats. My kids are far from perfect. I still have a long way to go. However they are decent children and I do not worry YET about them being reckless. Parents can not be friends with their children. They can be friendly of course but not friends.
No, I am not giving her too much power but the way the law is written, the student can make the decision without the parent(s).
I think that is what is ridiculous.
I have stated my reasons and there are a lot of them but they said if they go there, they will soon drop out. Fat chance of that happening.
Just wait until I present the list and then we shall see if they are willing to work full-time (no car!).