Posted on 09/15/2006 2:12:28 AM PDT by sully777
My reaction to this caught several co-worker's attention.
"George put sugar in the man with the yellow hat's gas tank on account of he believed the man had stolen the prize out of his cereal box."
That was me in 5th grade. Every week.
Be Well...
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for next Friday.
A big city lawyer went dove hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a dove. It fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that dove, I'll sue you and take everything you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the dove.
All american vaudeville star.
Who want to dance.
Damn Gipsies....
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You scored as Pistol. Easy to hide, easy to draw, capable of rapid shooting. You can't miss it! Old good autoloading pistol at your service!
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This will make it up to you. :)
SPARKY! Ooooohhhhhhh
sparkysparkysparkysparkysparkysparky!!!!!!!
Did I ever tell you that I love you EX? (in the most sisterly of ways :) )
I wonder what happened to him? Do you know?
He's not on In a Fix anymore?!?
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You scored as Shotgun. Bang! You need shotgun, because it can transform enemy into bloody spaghetti in no time. Maybe you played DOOM too much...
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I don't even know what channel that's on...
Life magazine...that was the other Life I wanted to post. Thanks and Morning Eric.
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