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Professor Terguson: Is she right? 'Cause I know that's the *popular* version of what went on there. And a lot of people like to believe that. I wish I could, but I was *there*. I wasn't here in a class room, hoping I was right, thinking about it.
[shouting]
Professor Terguson: I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work! Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him; While
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: pussies like you were back here partying, putting headbands on, doing drugs, and
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: listening to the goddamn Beatle albums! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Thornton Melon: Hey Professor, take it easy. These kids were in grade school at the time, and as for me... I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.

Professor Terguson: You remember that thing we had about 30 years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China?
Professor Terguson: [rips a desk apart] Then take the f@$%ing wall apart
[shouts]
Professor Terguson: brick by brick and nuke them back into the f*@$ing stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? Say it! Say it!
Thornton Melon: [incensed] All right. I'll say it. 'Cause Truman was too much of a *pussy wimp* to let MacArthur go in there
[shouts]
Thornton Melon: and blow out those Commie bastards!
Professor Terguson: Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you.
Thornton Melon: [to his classmates] Nice guy. Really seems to care. About what I have no idea.

[after Diane gives Thornton an 'F' for his report, which was actually written by Kurt Vonnegut]
Diane: Whoever *did* write this doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut!
[cut to Thornton's dorm suite]
Thornton Melon: [on the phone] ... and *another* thing, Vonnegut! I'm gonna stop payment on the cheque!
[Kurt tells him off]
Thornton Melon: F@#$ me? Hey, Kurt, can you read lips, *f@#$ you*! Next time I'll call Robert Ludlum!
[hangs up]

Diane: I'd love to go with you, but I've got a class right now.
Thornton Melon: Well, why don't you come and see me some time when you have no class.


61 posted on 09/01/2006 6:19:54 AM PDT by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestu s globus, inflammare animos)
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To: finnman69

Sam Kinison in Back To School
142 posted on 09/01/2006 9:02:02 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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