Posted on 06/19/2006 8:50:52 AM PDT by presidio9
IT'S hard to believe those gentle, playful dolphins we all love are actually ultra-horny, dangerously jealous creatures - but Jessica Alba and Susan Sarandon can tell you it's true from personal experience. Alba learned just how sex-crazed the lovable mammals are when she filmed the 1990s "Flipper" remake. "Dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being and they have long, long," the "Sin City" hottie told MTV. ". . . I didn't know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude. I sort of requested female dolphins after that because those are horny little b-s."
As word got around, her friends and family "did dolphin-squeaking noises anytime they talked to me, which was pretty annoying."
Sarandon has a darker, more disturbing, tale to tell - her near-death at the fins of a jealous lover. In the mid-'70s, Timothy Leary got her an invite to interact with dolphins at a San Francisco lab researching how human the graceful sea creatures can be. "First, they had the dolphin just swim past my feet in the wading area, and then I went into the deeper area, and I stroked the dolphin they called Joe each time it went by," Sarandon told Webster Hall curator Baird Jones.
"After he trusted me more, I took hold of Joe's fin and we glided around the tank together. Then Joe stopped swimming horizontally and pushed up against me. I thought the whole experience was just groovy until I felt this horrible pain on my wrist, which was holding Joe's fin."
Suddenly, researchers jumped in, fully clothed, and rushed to the actress, who had been bitten.
"I could hear them shouting, 'No, Rosie! Don't!' I looked over and Joe's mate, this huge dolphin I hadn't even noticed before, was
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Could you blame the dolphins? Now with Sarandon, I don't get it.
Especially after their last season.
WATER SPORT (Horny Dolphin Molests Demi Moore - Kutcher Watches In Horror)
This problem may be more serious than we thought.
"First, they had the dolphin just swim past my feet in the wading area, and then I went into the deeper area, and I stroked the dolphin they called Joe each time it went by," Sarandon told Webster Hall curator Baird Jones. "After he trusted me more, I took hold of Joe's fin and we glided around the tank together. Then Joe stopped swimming horizontally and pushed up against me. I thought the whole experience was just groovy…
She’s always been a bit easy.
Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me
I'll put up no resistance
I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch
I need assistance
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night
Then if anything grows
While you pose
I'll oil you up
And rub you down
Of the main attraction
You need a friendly hand
And I need action
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night
- Sung by Susan Sarandon, in The Rocky Horror Picture Show
You can't blame animals for doing what comes naturally.
Well it seems even the wildlife is into Jessica Alba, and who can blame them shes hot.
Alba I can see, but Sarandon?? She must have looked good via echolocation..
......and thanks for all the fish!
YAAAGHHH!!
The dolphin is thinking, "I'd hit it!"
"Dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being and they have long, long,"
Long Dong Silver?
Trouser trouts?
I went to Sea World in Florida this year. As we were all standing around looking into the dolphin tank, I noticed that all those frolicking dolphins were actually frolicking with a big F. I glanced around me but no one else seemed to notice. Parents were smiling and holding their children up to see. No wonder dolphins seem so happy.
Wasn't there a "King of the Hill" episode where a dolphin was "attracted" to Hank?
This entire story is disturbing lol.
That just sounds like a good place to stay away from.
Tell it! We gotta get those dolphins out of there.
I have witnessed it up close and personal. It's true.
That explains a lot.
That's right! Dick Johnson!
Or, as Madeline Kahn put it in Blazing Saddles, "It's twue, it's twue!"
Yeah, that was a good one -- he threw the guy who was harrassing his niece in with the dolphin, at the end!
She'd improve the gene pool of any species she mates with.
Thought you should see this............LOL
Thought you should see this............LOL
You thought wrong. Yikes. LOL
I worked at a marine park for many years. It was pretty amazing how many dolphin "groupies" were escorted off the property for fondling the dolphins. Never failed to amaze me. What sickos.
And I thought that it was only the Vikings...
Sarandon has a darker, more disturbing, tale to tell - her near-deathtease.
I worked at Sea World in the summer of 1978. I never heard any stories like this; at the time, they were more concered about a parrot that cussed at the tourists. It may be different today, now that they have the Dolphin Encounter attraction.
I'd love to own a cussin' parrot...
[big story follows]
This guy buys a parrot that is already about a year or two old. It can talk, but only knows curse words. He cusses all the time and when he is not cussing, he is rude. The guy tries to change the parrot's attitude. He plays soft music and talks very nice to the bird -- but the bird just gets worse. The guy gets desperate and he yells at the bird -- the bird gets even worse and begins cussing at him. The guy grabbs the bird and starts shaking him. So the bird starts cussing more and biting. Out of total desperation the guy grabs his freezer door and throws the parrot in the freezer. He can hear the parrot in there flailing about and cussing up a storm. All of a sudden it becomes dead quiet. The guy thinks, "Oh my gosh, I've killed him!" He opens the freezer door and the bird steps out onto the guy's arm. The bird says, "I am sorry if I have caused you desperation in the past, but I will try to change my disposition in the future and only speak kindly to you." The guy is absolutely dumbfound! He is about to ask the bird what caused his change of heart when the bird says: "May I ask what the chicken did?"
Got wondering about chromosome counts, and found this excerpt, which seems to confirm the general randiness of dolphins.
http://messybeast.com/genetics/hybrid-mammals.html
OTHER HYBRID ANIMALS
A hybrid sealion from a cross between the California sealion (Zalophus californianus) and the South American sealion (Otaria byronia) has also been reported. There has also been a genetically confirmed harp seal x hooded seal hybrid.
Among the marine mammals, a wolphin (whale/dolphin) hybrid occurred in captivity in 1985 where a female bottlenose dolphin and a male false killer whale shared a pool. The Wholphin's size, colour and shape are intermediate between the parent species. Named Kekaimalu, she has 66 teeth - intermediate between a Bottlenose (88 teeth) and False Killer Whale (44 teeth). The Wholphin proved fertile when she gave birth to a calf sired by a Bottlenose Dolphin; the calf was three quarters dolphin/one quarter Whale and thus looks more like a dolphin. Despite being fertile, Kekaimalu did not mother the calf (this is not uncommon in captive dolphins and was probably not related to her being a hybrid), but it was successfully hand-reared. In April 2005, it was announced that the same wholphin had produced another calf in December 2004. This second calf was also sired by a Bottlenose dolphin and at 6 months old was already the size of a 1 year old Bottlenose. The False Killer Whale is not a whale at all, but is a type of dolphin. Herds of False Killer Whales and Bottlenose Dolphins associate together in the wild and there are unsubstantiated tales of natural hybrids between the two species.
In 1933, three strange dolphins were beached off the Irish coast; these appeared to be hybrids between Risso's Dolphin and the Bottlenose Dolphin. This mating has since been repeated in captivity and a hybrid calf was born. In captivity, a Bottlenose Dolphin and a Rough-Toothed Dolphin produced hybrid offspring. In the wild, Spinner Dolphins have sometimes hybridised with Spotted Dolphins and Bottlenose Dolphins. In the wild, bands of males of one dolphin species have been observed to gang rape a female Spinner. Blue Whales, Fin Whales and Humpback Whales all hybridise in the wild. Dall's Porpoises and Harbour Porpoises have hybridized in the wild. There has also been a reported hybrid between a beluga and a narwhal.
Winston Churchill had a cussing parrot that apparently is still alive. Did you hear that story?
Yeah, I've heard it, but I'm not sure it's true. It does seem like a habit any parrot could have picked up during the Blitz. ;')
A guy walks into a bar in Tahiti, and there's a horse serving drinks. The guy is staring at the horse, when the horse says, "Hey buddy? What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?"
The guy says, "No, it's not that... it's just that I never thought the parrot would sell the place."
A drunken guy staggers into a bar, plops down on a stool, plunks down two shoeboxes, and orders a drink. The whole time the bartender is eyeing the boxes, which are tied up with string and have some holes punched in them. The bartender says, "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."
The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"
The bartender says, "Only if what you show me doesn't involve nudity."
"Deal!" says the guy. He pulls the string off one of the boxes and pulls out a parrot. He puts the parrot on the bar and it waddles to the end of the bar, hops down onto the floor, across the room, climbs up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing tunes. And the parrot is really good.
As a crowd starts to gather around the piano and the tip jar starts to fill, the bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before! Here's your drink!"
The guy nurses the drink for an hour, then asks the bartender for another.
"You said you've got no cash," says the bartender. The guy opens the second box and pulls out a hamster. The hamster runs down the bar, to the floor, climbs the piano, and starts to sing scat jazz to the parrot's accompaniment. The crowd grows, the tip jar overflows.
A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the hamster and parrot.
"No deal!"
"$500!" The stranger pulls out the cash and waves it under the guy's nose.
"Chump change!"
"Look, I have to have this act!"
"Tell ya what, you've got an honest face. I'll take the $500 for the hamster."
"Done!" The stranger throws the $500 at the guy, picks up a shoebox, runs to the piano, grabs his rat, sticks it in the box, and runs for the door as the crowd throws ice cubes and swizzle sticks at him. Only the spectacular piano playing kept them from running after the stranger.
The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing hamster for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy."
"Nope", says the guy, "the parrot's a ventriloquist."
http://www.winstonchurchill.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=862
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3414323.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3417353.stm
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