Ben Affleck Is Captain Kirk?

Cinescape ^ | 05-02-05 | WestVirginiaRebel

[WestVirginiaRebel]

...some others had heard that Ben has also been talking to Paramount about possibly playing a lead role ina new Star Trek film from J.J. Abrams. Apparently Abrams is coming down to visit the set in a few weeks, to visit Michelle Monaghan, whom he directed in Mission: Impossible 3, so that might add some more fuel to the fire. If it comes off, he's apparently playing the hero. Don't know if that's Captain Kirk or some other protagonist...but that's the gist of it.

[WestVirginiaRebel]

Ladies and gentlebeings, the End Times are upon us.

[TBP]

Beam me up, Scotty.

[SandfleaCSC]

NONONONONONONONONO

Ping

Read it and weep SciFi folks.

[BeHoldAPaleHorse]

To mix my pop culture references, when it comes to Captain Kirk, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

[TBP]

Let's see if we cna finish out this cast.

Given Ben Affleck as Kirk, who would be equally good to play Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Checkhov, Uhuru, and the rest?

[AmericanChef]

Beat me up, Scotty! Gadzooks this is bad news!

[misterrob]

Hah, watch Ben get the role, watch the tabloids come out with news that Ben's screwing around on his wife, watch film have mediocre success, watch Ben and Jen get a divorce.....

Any takers?

[martin_fierro]

"Khan?"

[Thunder90]

As Captain Picard would say:

"Red Alert, Raise Shields, Ready Phasers, Arm Photon Torpedo bays"

[Sybeck1]

Why do we need this crap when we have "New Voyages" And "Exeter"?

[InterceptPoint]

I tried to like Ben Affleck. He's a handsome guy and acting isn't exactly rocket science. But for the life of me I cannot watch him without wonderdering why anybody would hire this guy and put him in a movie that actually is expected to make money. He just can't act. It's too bad but it's a fact.

So Ben Affleck as Cap'n Kirk is a deal killer for me.

[BeHoldAPaleHorse]

Given Ben Affleck as Kirk, who would be equally good to play Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Checkhov, Uhuru, and the rest?

Spock: Keanu Reeves (he can't show emotion anyway)

Scotty: Claudia Christian (BSG transgender move)

Sulu: Grace Park (the other BSG transgender move)

Chekhov: Vin Diesel

Uhura: Queen Latifah

[Kellykoop]

If The Shat were dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave right now.

But seriously folks, while I'm not a Trek fan, I DO love Shatner and wouldn't want arse-clown like Affleck play the role Shat made famous. This is just wrong on SO many levels!!!

[MikefromOhio]

Spock would have to be either Vin Diesel or maybe the WWE's Undertaker....

Dr. McCoy is obviously a deadringer for Larry the Cable Guy

Scotty should be that red-headed guy from BraveHeart....

Sulu - Well I'll get back to that. The only person I could come up with was Johnny Weir(d).

Checkov should be 7'3" Russian Boxer Nicoli Valuev

Uhuru could be Beyonce Knowles or Lil Kim LOL

[Sybeck1]

Kirk should die with Shatner!

[Crazieman]

KHAAAAAN!

[rfp1234]

"Given Ben Affleck as Kirk, who would be equally good to play Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Checkhov, Uhuru, and the rest?"

Dennis Kucinich as Spock (at least the haircut matches)

[ClearCase_guy]

Snoop Dogg would be a terrible choice for Spock. I imagine the chemistry between Affleck and Snoop would be horrendous. So, I'm hoping that they both get hired.

Also, I'd like to see the internet's Star Wars Kid as Scotty. Just because.

[Lil'freeper]

Uhura: Queen Latifah

*belly laugh*

I soooo needed that. Thanks!

[TADSLOS]

He's not even worthy of a red shirt.

[Crawdad]

Ben hasn't done anything worthwhile since 'Dazed and Confused'.

[Emmet Fitzhume]

Ben Affleck's target audience considers learning a foreign language to be unimportant.

They are also incapable of finding certain states on the map.

In short, we are doomed not because we will see his stupidity in future movies, but because the generation that follows him is also beyond asinine.

[wingnut1971]

I have a request of my fellow freepers who are talented with Photoshop:

Could someone make a photo of the REAL Kirk pointing and saying "You're a homo!" Like the Ponch photo.

Thanking you in advance.

[Viking2002]

In the words of the immortal Charlie Brown, "AAUUGH!!!!!"

[KevinDavis]

Bad mojo about this film.....

[Hawk1976]

Dr. McCoy is obviously a deadringer for Larry the Cable Guy

To paraphrase one of the other ones....After all, you wouldn't want to hear yer brain surgeon say ,"A'ight, here's what we gonna do, we gonna saw the top o'yer head off, and then we gonna poke around in there with a stick and see if we can't find that clot..."

[Spktyr]

It's more likely that he'll play Christopher Pike, as that era of the Enterprise's adventures has never been really well chronicled - and the fans would revolt with any new "reimagining" after ST:E.

[Samwise]

Nooooooooooooooo!

[Junior]

Ben Affleck... playing... Captain Kirk... Tell me... it isn't so.

[beef]

Scotty: Claudia Christian (BSG transgender move)

 

I thought she was in B-5, not BSG. 

[scrabblehack]

From what I've heard of the movie, it will be the old characters (Kirk and Spock) but younger. Please, no Queen Latifah as Uhura. Maybe Beyonce Knowles would be OK -- yeah, Uhura could sing.... Craig Kilbourne as Scotty?

[bmwcyle]

One I won't see.

[freedumb2003]

If The Shat were dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave right now

Ben as Kirk is what you get when you go to Priceline for your actors.

[demlosers]

Barf! He's too stupid.

[af_vet_rr]

Matt Damon as Spock..we have the makings of a good SNL skit. Or a bad one.

[Darkwolf377]

BLECH! of the Day

Better he should play one of those big-headed things from the Captain Pike episode. How his baby ever got out of that skinny wife of his I can only wonder.

[Darkwolf377]

And in other casting news, the part of Mr. Spock will be played by Rosie O'Donnell, with the role of Dr. McCoy played by none other than -- you guessed it -- Jake Gyllenhall or however the hell he spells it.

[Charles Henrickson]

Dennis Kucinich as Spock

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Live long and prosper!"

[Charles Henrickson]

From what I've heard of the movie, it will be the old characters (Kirk and Spock) but younger.

Considering that Shatner was 35 when be began playing Kirk, and Affleck right now is 33, that's not much younger.

[farlander]

Ok, now, we're DOOOOOOMED. Dooomed, I tell you! Truly.


Apparently Ben's been smoking too much of something real good.

[TBP]

Given Ben Affleck as Kirk, who would be equally good to play Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Checkhov, Uhuru, and the rest?

Halle Berry?

[StrictTime]

What kind of church lets Kucinich in to do the sermon?

[Troublemaker]

Will he be wearing Shatner's hairpiece or his own?

[sully777]

Cartman deals with Ben

[denydenydeny]

After The Sum of All Fears, Ben needs a new franchise to ruin.

[WorkerbeeCitizen]

That is just sooooo wrong.

[mcar]

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

Dr. McCoy is obviously a deadringer for Larry the Cable Guy

GIT 'ER DONE!

[Tijeras_Slim]

"The odds of getting a royal fizbin are astronomical... Ben, what are the odds of getting a royal fizbin?"

"Huh?"

[BeHoldAPaleHorse]

I know she was, but I'm invoking the BSG transgender move as precedent for making the Chief Engineer into eye candy.