Photo by Kevin GoodmanI thought this was Breaking News ;)
Posted on 12/16/2005 10:12:17 AM PST by Fawn
I've come to see the pork chop.
"Here it is," says Kevin Goodman, 43, as he reaches amid the coffee-table clutter in his Boca Raton apartment, presenting me a plastic bag with a cooked pork chop in it.
"Looks like a dog," I confirm.
The item in question is officially called "Smiling Pork Chop Dog," and in the plethora of weird items for sale on eBay, the online auction site, it has managed to rise in the ranks of the bizarre.
This is no easy feat, considering that the dog head of pork is competing against a shower drain hair clog from New York, a human soul on a bar napkin from Illinois, and a Maryland item simply listed as "a box of smell from my house."
So far, the month-old pork chop from a Boca Raton Winn-Dixie has drawn a lot of gawkers, but no potential buyers.
"It's too nice to eat," Goodman said. "It's more like art."
It was part of a three-pack Goodman was frying up for supper one night a week after Hurricane Wilma. He ate two chops, but couldn't bring himself to eat the other, because he saw a face in it. So the chop went from skillet to freezer.
It's not surprising. Goodman lives with two dogs and an apartment full of driftwood that he fashions into sculptures. His artistic bent is to imagine faces and forms in the random configurations of nature. I guess you might say it was just a matter of time before he made the jump from wood to meat.
Visions of grilled cheese inspire
He is also an eBay seller of more conventional items, and so he knows that no item is too strange to auction. As his pork chop remained in its petrified freezer state, his mind turned to the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich, another South Florida oddity, which sold for $28,000 on eBay last year.
And he remembered that the same online casino that bought the cheese sandwich also bought a pretzel said to resemble the Virgin Mary holding the Baby Jesus for $10,600, and a Nacho Cheese Doritos Chip shaped like a pope's mitre for $1,209.
If a chip that looks like a hat could sell, then why not a chop that looks like a dog, he thought?
"It would help if your dog looked like a religious dog," I said.
Goodman had already been down that road, trying to come up with a Christian link to his pork chop.
"I couldn't think of any," he said.
So he's just going with a secular dog, and hoping that his timing is right.
"It's smiling, and it's holiday time, and we're at war," he said.
He set the opening bid at $1,998. (Did I mention he didn't get any takers?)
"I didn't want to make it too high or too low," he said. "And I need to pay my rent."
Food auctions may be drying up
In the first four days of his weeklong auction, about 9,000 online visitors have gazed at the photo of his chop. But no bids, just commentary. Here's my favorite snippet of online discussion from www.BizarreBids.com:
Laura: i hate this picture its horrid to kill a dog just to put it on a website.who ever done it is mean so i hate it.
Kaitlyn: They didn't kill a dog. It's a pork chop that happens to look like a dog. hahahahaha!
Jazzy: yall stupid
Goodman's auction ends Sunday. The market is tough.
A seller in Ohio trying to unload the "Dale Earnhardt Jr. Onion Ring" — a Burger King specimen shaped like an "8" — didn't get any offers, despite opening the bidding at just a dollar. And the human soul, the last time I checked, was only up to a buck twenty-nine.
Photo by Kevin GoodmanI thought this was Breaking News ;)
Slow newz day in South Floridah, I guess.
Makes me hungry.
Words fail me.
I wonder why the headline was posted twice? I wonder why the headline was posted twice?
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LOL! Didn't know there was an ebay ping list...haha
Put me down for $50K
Bid is up to $1998 on ebay.
http://cgi.ebay.com/Smiling-PORK-CHOP-Dog_W0QQitemZ5646113118QQcategoryZ1468QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
looks like a horse
I thought this was about nancy pelosi when i first read the headline..
I think that girl in the article who thinks it's a real dog should buy it.
Uhhh ... read the article again.
I change the name of my ping list to suit the thread. I've even had BIG PINK CONDOM, PING and a whole lot of other crazy ones.
He's right. Look at the link.
This will round out my Christmas shopping.
$12 for shipping seems steep.
Opening bid is up to $1998.00. :-)
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