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MORFORD: Ex-Cheerleaders I Never Groped
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/24/5 | Mark Morford

Posted on 08/24/2005 7:43:02 AM PDT by SmithL

In which Mark Morford survives his high school reunion, still unmarried and childless.

It's like that feeling you get when you smack your head into a brick wall and your skull reverberates and your vision momentarily blurs and you have a painful but somehow still nicely appealing flash of insight into Something Very Important, something you think you should know, something that can only be illuminated via cocktails and bloody prime rib and conversing with old flames.

This is the high school reunion. It is the most curious thing. You attend one and you are calmly slammed up against the wall of your past, and your head convulses and you memories frappé because there are all these, you know, people, and they seem to know you, and you take one look at them and you are hurled into a nifty time warp and you say, oh my God, that's right. I remember now.

This happened to me. I recently attended my 20th high school reunion up in the evergreen wilds of mild suburban white-bread middle-class Spokane, a peculiar but ultimately pleasant event wherein almost everyone looked unexpectedly good and most seemed reasonably well-adjusted and only a few got aggressively drunk and tried to draw me out for being a happily unmarried neo-pagan liberal sodomite godless heathen yoga teacher when it's almost illegal to be from Spokane and be an unmarried liberal anything.

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: fifi; mandatorybarfalert; morfordite; nomorekeywordfun; pansy; stephengeoffreysfan
Morfordite Alert

You've been warned!

1 posted on 08/24/2005 7:43:03 AM PDT by SmithL
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To: SmithL
conversing with old flames

Doesn't he mean flamers?

2 posted on 08/24/2005 7:46:20 AM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: SmithL

Why can't everyone be a homosexual ?


3 posted on 08/24/2005 7:47:52 AM PDT by Nonstatist
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To: SmithL

4 posted on 08/24/2005 7:50:19 AM PDT by skeeter
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To: SmithL

jeezum crow they PAY THIS GUY to write this stuff??? Man this is even worse than usual.

The only good sign being a hint at sudden realization his life is meaningless (and useless)


5 posted on 08/24/2005 7:58:41 AM PDT by Mr. K (Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help...)
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To: SmithL
MORFORD: Ex-Cheerleaders I Never Groped


Trent Lott is Deeply Disappointed.


Dubya is not.

6 posted on 08/24/2005 8:05:19 AM PDT by martin_fierro (Shirtless at the 7-11)
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To: SmithL

7 posted on 08/24/2005 8:20:33 AM PDT by Salman
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