I was being serious. You might give some thought about seeing someone who treats obsessions, because you have one. It is not healthy. I personally don’t care what it does to YOU, but it can be hell on those around you, especially loved ones (if you even have any). Many years ago a friend of ours suffered from a very profound obsession, and it was hell on her family.
You seem obsessed with me. Time to move on, being obsessed with someone you don’t even know is not healthy, not healthy at all.