Merkel Disputes Contention Her Immigration Policy Has Been a Disaster [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Jan 2017 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

German Chancellor Angela Merk took issue with Donald Trump's contention that her immigration policy has been "a disaster" and "a catastrophic mistake."

"Mr. Trump's view is short-sighted," Merkel contended. "He sees the crimes being committed in Germany by these Muslim refugees as an unalloyed negative. We don't. Certainly, there have been some short term annoyances. But longer term we are building a stronger Germany. The fecundity of these immigrants is precisely the medicine we need to offset native Germans' lack of enthusiasm for reproduction. On top of this, the ferocity of Muslim males will bolster the next generation of German armed forces. I believe our country will emerge as a major power when we can count jihad as one of our new tactics."

"I stand corrected," Trump said in response. "I thought Chancellor Merkel was misguided. Her latest explanation, though, conveys a degree of insanity that should frighten every German and European. The damage that might be done by a Germany injected with an Islamic toxin could ignite another holocaust."

In related news, outgoing CIA Director John Brennan advised Trump that "he should watch what he says about the intelligence community. He may think that as president he is the world's most powerful man, but the real power is wielded by the CIA and other similar organizations. If necessary any one of these organizations could terminate Trump's power in an instant. The CIA has taken out non-compliant national leaders around the world. and, as Sen. Schumer has reminded everyone, they could do the same here if it becomes necessary."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,244738.0.html