Because:
1) You aren't one.
2) You don't know any.
3) You don't know anybody who knows any.
4) You're probably at least six degrees of separation removed from any.
5) IOW, you're a miserable, whinging pansy. GFY.
Don’t get too riled up my friend...it’s only npr. :>)
But he article was surprisingly well balanced, a shock for NPR.