Conservative: "I've got something better than that." He takes out a pen and a business card. "Clean yourself up and go to this address tomorrow morning and I'll give you a job."
Liberal: "Why, that's terrible! You must be the victim of an unequal, oppressive class system." He runs after the conservative, mugs him, steals $100, keeps 90 of it and gives 10 to the bum and says "Don't worry. There's more where that came from."
Libertarian: "Not my problem, bud," he says and keeps walking.