The Lies People Tell Themselves (Darren Wilson & Ferguson)

Officer.com ^ | December 4, 2014 | Michael Wasilewski and Althea Olson

[2ndDivisionVet]

All lies and jest,

Still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest - From “The Boxer” by Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel

It’s the morning of Tuesday, November 25, 2014 as I write this, and I feel worn out. Frankly, this article was to be on a completely different topic, something reflecting on recent personal experiences we’ve had and how we’ve begun to think about the application of their lessons to the realm of law enforcement. But things change.

Barely 12 hours ago, Althea and I watched St Louis County Prosecutor Robert McCulloch deliver the Grand Jury’s decision to not charge Officer Darren Wilson criminally in the shooting death of Michael Brown. Then we watched chaos descend on Ferguson, MO.

We weren’t surprised that violence erupted, or buildings and cars burned, or even how quickly it all happened; as if on cue (in fact, probably on cue), certain of the waiting crowd in the streets of Ferguson peeled off at a run while McCulloch was still explaining the evidence the grand jury had considered in its decision. Watching his measured, methodical recitation of facts with a simultaneous split-screen view of turmoil unfolding was eerie. Later, watching President Obama’s call for peace on the right side of our TV as violence blossomed on the left was a masterfully ironic piece of news production.

We weren’t even surprised that, despite so many of the heretofore unknown facts of this case – facts that, to me as a police officer and Althea as a police spouse, clearly explain why no indictment was returned or reasonably could be – finally being offered to the public, that many still saw a horrific miscarriage of justice. What surprised me was my own visceral reaction to not only their dismissal of the facts now laid out for public scrutiny, but also their willful refusal to try and understand. What surprised me this morning was how worn out I’d be by that reaction, and by my disappointment at how obstinately so many would hang onto the idea Darren Wilson should have be indicted.

The famous Simon & Garfunkel line at the start of the article is one of my favorites, timeless and encompassing so much human drive. The “lies and jest” are not just that told us by others, but really those we tell ourselves to keep believing what we want to believe, regardless of inconvenient facts. I keep it in mind to check my own impulse – an impulse most of us share, by the way – to create my own set of facts that support a firmly held worldview when considering a controversy about which I might be wrong. A lot of people are choosing to believe their own lies and jest right now.

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Although we’ve addressed Ferguson, MO peripherally, using its example only as a jumping off point in terms of how it and similar controversies might impact officers and their families emotionally and professionally, or how to govern our own behavior and reactions to those who would challenge or disparage law enforcement, I’ve wanted to stay away from directly offering my views or beliefs about what happened on August 9th. Rather than taking a stand on whether Darren Wilson’s actions that morning were right or wrong, or whether he should charged and prosecuted for them, I took the well-considered position of “I wasn’t there (and neither were you). I haven’t seen or reviewed the reports or evidence (and neither have you). I just don’t know (and neither do you).” I could make an educated guess about what had happened, or posit possible scenarios all day long, but to do so outside my own head or in talking to Althea about it seemed irresponsible and, frankly, exhausting and futile.

Now the grand jury has ruled, the evidence and testimony are no longer shrouded in secrecy, and I’m confident saying that I firmly believe they ruled justly and there is no indication Darren Wilson should or could be held criminally responsible. There’s no evidence Wilson’s actions or his shooting of Brown were racially motivated. Whether his tactics and responses could have been better will likely be dissected in incident reviews and civil proceedings to come, but being less than perfect, if any such criticism is due, is not a crime. I am happy for Officer Wilson he won’t face charges. I hope he is ultimately exonerated of civil liability and able to move on with his life.

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Still, there are those who feel the grand jury got it wrong. There are those who believe McCulloch dropped the ball in not requesting charges, by presenting exculpatory evidence to the grand jury in addition to any that might have supported indictment, and for allowing such an unusual (though not unheard of) departure from typical grand jury proceedings. And there are those who insist against all reason that Wilson’s actions must have been driven by race, must have been criminal, even though they offer no evidence in support.

That some of these people are personal friends and family who opine freely about why they think the decision was wrong, without ever stopping to ask someone they personally know who actually might be able to shed true light on why things happened the way they did, is the source of much of my exhaustion today. Of course, they are entitled to their opinion, but I’m entitled to my anger over how they arrived at it.

Watching some in the media who’ve had weeks to learn about the process, and legal experts at their disposal to help them, choosing to inflame passions with unsupported speculation and emotion-driven reporting and commentary instead of educating their viewers adds bitterness. As for a few of the “experts” some networks have turned to, it seems their expertise is dubious at best, with apparently little or no real understanding of the true role of prosecutors and grand juries.

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This we’re seeing now is merely another example of the larger human tendency to select the narrative that supports what we want to believe - and therefore will, all facts to the contrary be damned! – while ignoring or choosing to discredit anything with the potential to shake our worldview. This hard polarization of ideas is well researched and documented, especially in recent years. It should not surprise us, yet it does over and over.

The risk, when we in law enforcement are under the microscope, peered at critically by those who cannot or will not open themselves to the possibility what they think they know might just be wrong, is to allow ourselves to further isolate from them. Individually, our impulse is to grow apart from those friends and family who anger us, losing both their fellowship and the opportunity to educate on the micro scale. Collectively, we isolate more and more from the communities and people we police, and the wall of distrust grows. We need to fight those impulses.

The challenge is to stay engaged, be empathetic without conceding truth, and speaking up constructively. The next controversy will come and go, and those who dislike or distrust law enforcement, for whatever reason, will again write their own narratives divorced of truth. Just know it will likely be “all lies and jest” as humans are wont to tell themselves.

But, like The Boxer of the song, we’ll remain.

[SWAMPSNIPER]

It all depends on what the meaning of is is!