Goodbye cruel world - I'm off to join the circus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h6ZXKHv19A ^

[Lazamataz]

The World Cup is awful. Sports sucks. Things rust. Decay is everywhere. Entropy is coming. I hate malaria. Nothing is ever the same. Differences abound. Things are confused. Nobody wants the crown. Horses poop. Stuff is happening.

[The Cajun]

And then you slug down your first cup of coffee for the day, spin up and off you go about your business.

[RandallFlagg]

OR.....

Go shooting outdoors.
Range Therapy cures almost anything.
(I’m going today)

[blueunicorn6]

I don’t recommend it. I ran away from home and joined the circus when I was ten. Oh, the other kids had aspirations of being astronauts and ballerinas and firemen, but not me. I wanted to be The Cotton Candy Guy. Yeah, I know what you’re saying. That’s a pretty lofty goal for a kid with no shoes. I lost them shooting craps, but I digress. The thought of spinning and selling that pink, fluffy numminess filled my youthful brain.

“Cotton candy! Get yer cotton candy!”

I would wear my white paper cap and red and white striped jacket. Girls love a guy in a uniform.

Alas, as with so many youthful dreams, it didn’t work out. You don’t start out making and selling cotton candy. They start you out as the fitness instructor for the lions and tigers. This involves running around their performance cage as fast as you can in an effort to keep from being their lunch. I called OSHA and they just told me to run fast.
I asked the circus owner when I could start my training to be The Cotton Candy Guy. He said Harvard wasn’t accepting any more applications that year.
I ended up standing in the rain in Peoria trying to thumb a ride back home. My time in the circus did prepare me for the career that has given me wealth and fame......Hillary Clinton’s Personal Assistant.

[liberalh8ter]

I believe I’ve read some of your amazon product reviews.......they’re excellent, BTW.

[Lazamataz]

The coffee sucks. It’s cold and bitter. Just like my girlfriend. There’s a hole in the cup anyways, and the sugar has ants in it. I hate bees. BEEEEEEEEES.

[Fightin Whitey]

Buy a sheep ranch in Montana and go Galt!

It's there waiting fer yez. Hundred thousand acres and more.

Gone Galt

But bring a big checkbook.

[Lazamataz]

Hot brass falls down my shirt. There’s too many bees. The heat is oppressive. I dropped a box on my foot.

[Lazamataz]

Amazon sucks. The reviews are even worse. Clouds piss me off. You don’t have candy, do you?

[RandallFlagg]

You wear a shirt when you shoot?
And here I’d thought you went Rambo style.

:-)

[Lazamataz]

Rambo was a pussy. Sylvester Stallone is short. He has no tattoos, and that sucks, but if he did have tattoos, that would also suck.

[TADSLOS]

LMAO. You have a career awaiting as a Lewis Grizzard/ Dave Berry style humorist.

[liberalh8ter]

Maybe I do......

[Billthedrill]

I have beer.

Dang it. It's empty.

[Lazamataz]

Give me the candy or I will kill you.

[Lazamataz]

Give me the beer or I will kill liberalh8ter

[morphing libertarian]

I would add, my favorite show is cancelled and traffic is a bitch.

[Billthedrill]

Lib, buddy, I'm sorry. I tried to email Laz the beer but I don't have the bandwidth. The progress bar sez "3,257 years left."

You might try negotiating with Laz if he doesn't look too...hungry...

[bravo whiskey]

the circ8s eh? did you get offered a job in the odumbo regieme?

[Nita Nupress]

The coffee sucks. It’s cold and bitter. Just like my girlfriend. There’s a hole in the cup anyways, and the sugar has ants in it. I hate bees. BEEEEEEEEES.

Coffee NEVER sucks. Ever. Players don't have girlfriends, not loyal ones, anyway. If you have one, you should be very afraid. Only holy cups will do for most of us, and bees make it possible to grow fruits and veggies.

You got me on the ants, though, Eeyor. Their carnivorous behavior that disposes of dead insects is way overrated. Now, back to Joe, whom I would greatly miss if he departs...