Kind of interesting that the author focuses on the specific case of the man leaving the wife, despite the fact that the majority of divorces are initiated by the wife.
Also, she mentions the fact that the man’s primary focus is for his wife to be happy, and men have a need to have their wives admire and respect them. She even admits that women often belittle men over this need. But then, when she gets to discussing why men (whose wives have belittled their desire to be admired and respected) leave their wives, she simply says that “he was not playing the same game all along”, seeming to imply that the husband is at fault because his view of what the relationship should be is not the same as hers.
Well it IS Psychology Today. Just admitting there’s a difference must have pained them greatly!
Along with the lack of respect a lot of wives have for their husbands there is
“I can’t tell you how many men in my office complain that they feel they are last on the list, after the kids, her job, her mother, her sister, her friends and Zumba”.
Which is very true, feeling like the cash cow and sperm donor.
I’ve experienced all of that for 40 years yet I still love my wife and want her to be happy. During a period of extreme stress for both of us that led to a near breakdown for both of us she decided she wanted a divorce. It was irrational and not grounded in any reality and it took me three months to turn the situation around to the point that things got better and our marriage stronger. My wife’s focus for all of those years was primarily on all of those other things and our relationship was last and least. Now, we are a real team together going on for almost 42 years and we work together to keep the bond strong. She finally seems to understand.
The author gets it, but doesn’t approach an understanding of how their self-centered attitude affects men and their reactions.