Do all participants get a free carpet square to munch on?
Chef: Don’t you understand? She’s a lesbian!
Stan Marsh: A whatbian?
Kyle Broflovski: A prebian?
Chef: You boys don’t know what a lesbian is?
Stan Marsh: [to Kenny] Kenny?
[Kenny shrugs]
Stan Marsh: No, explain it to us, Chef.
Chef: That-That’s okey, eh b... look, all you need to know is, Miss Ellen is a lesbian, and that means she only likes other lesbians.
Stan Marsh: Oh.
Chef: Now move along, children, you’re holding up the line.
[they walk on]
Kyle Broflovski: Weak, dude! She only likes other lesbians?
Stan Marsh: Hey man, if she only likes other lesbians, then all we gotta do is become lesbians too!
Kyle Broflovski: Hey, yeah!
Cartman: You guys, you know what? My grandma was Dutch-Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian, that makes me quarter lesbian!
STAN
What the hell are you doing, Cartman?
Cartman sits up.
CARTMAN
My mom said if you want to become a
lesbian you have to lick carpet.
KYLE
Really?
STAN
Well I got a Indiglo girls CD. The
guy at the record store said it was
perfect.
Stan puts the CD in a CD player.
KYLE
And I got these killer Berkenstocks.
CARTMAN
This is a bunch of crap! I’ve been
licking this carpet for THREE HOURS
and I still don’t feel like a lesbian!
Maybe you could set up a stand outside and sell carpet remnants on a stick...or would that image be too straight?