[Pollster1]

They’re treating Christmas like it’s pornography. As a matter of fact, the Army actually treats pornography better than it does Christmas.

That's because the community-organizer-in-chief likes porn, especially gay porn, better than he likes Christmas or Christians.

[Venturer]

The Russians used to send political officers out on missions with their military to watch and make sure they didn’t say the wrong thing.

That’s what these Equal Opportunity Reps are -—political Officers. And besides it gives these bossy broads a nice cushy job out of harms way.

Used to be a name for them. Rhymed with runt.

[Elsiejay]

The CO-in-C likes Islam better than he does Christianity.