I understand your frustration with all the "studies" and such are released to the public. I also understand you're joking. However, here's what you need to know. If you shop around the outside of the grocery store, you'll probably avoid 99% of what ails the American public. If your food remembers where it came from, it's probably good to eat.
Yeah, but I am also afraid of tainted bacteria fresh veggies and listeria meat.
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If my food remembers where it came from, and is telling me about it, I ain't eating it...