[Robert DeLong]

“I mean, how many of these critics were aware that duck penises are cork-screw shaped—a piece of information that might never have come to light without this study?

So, how exactly does this knowledge benefit us?

Can we now use ducks to open out bottles of wine?

[Robert DeLong]

I really have to start reading before responding. Stupid satire.

[John Semmens]

Yes, but first you must induce the duck to have an errection.