If you’re a miserable B*****d that wants everyone else to be as miserable as you, then you’re probably a liberal.
If you plan to get a job from a poor person, you’re probably a liberal.
If you want the fruits of other people’s labor, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think the republican party was the party of slavery, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think Obama cares about you, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think “NO” Parking means “Negroes Only-(NO)”, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think taking a pill that may cause blood clots is safer than keeping your knees together is better control over unwanted pregnancies, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think there is no Higher Power than yourself, you’re probably a liberal.
And...if you think I’m not going to enjoy the crap that hits your fan as a result of your unintelligent vote in a short time, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think I won’t resent your stupid decision when it takes me down as well, you’re probably a liberal.
Intersting time.
If you see a dime's worth of difference between them you are a fool = liberal. And if you don't see they together destroyed the Reagan revolution - ah who cares what you think.
If you are a Bush pimp you are a useful fool for the liberals.
If you sign the back of a check, rather than the front of a check, you’re probably a liberal.
I have a simple litmus test for liberals. Lock them in a room with only one vent. Hook up a hose from a car’s exhaust to the vent then start it. After a few minutes those liberals who turn blue have passed the litmus test.
If you think gays should be represented in the Easter Parade, but Jesus should be removed to avoid offending anyone, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think dumb animals should have civil rights, but humans who can’t speak for themselves should be “allowed” to die, you’re probably a liberal.
If you think pets allowed to die should go fast and euphorically, but humans should go by starvation and dehydration, you’re probably a liberal.
If you give a paltry sum of your own money, but believe paying high taxes is patriotic...
If you believe conservative Christians are hateful and dangerous, but Muslims are peace loving...
If you have Planned Parenthood on speed dial...
If you believe that America is an evil, selfish nation in need of transformation...
If you travel the world in private jets but vilify people who drive SUVs...
If you believe that “the wall of separation,” abortion, and gay marriage are in the Constitution, but free religious expression and gun ownership are not...
If you believe that leaving a woman to die in your car, committing treason and backstabbing American soldiers, running a gay prostitution ring from your apartment or receiving oral sex from a 21 year old intern in the Oval Office is no big deal, but telling an off color joke to a female coworker is morally outrageous...
If you take millions in campaign contributions from teachers unions but send your kids to private schools...
Wow,I could be here all day, but there is much to do!
Liberal: “I feel that...”
Conservative: “I think that...”
And this has proven far more true than I ever believed when I first starting observing it.