Global Warming: It's Time to Panic

Realville, USA ^ | Nov 15, 2012 | Ombud

[SquarePants]

Oh no. Global warming's on the move again.

You heard me right. Our President told us so today. When he was asked about NYC Mayor Michael "Nanny" Bloomberg's belief that Obama would do more to fight global warming, Obama made it clear he'd hold up his end of that bargain. In fact, he went so far as to say that temperatures are rising even faster than predicted just ten years ago. Here's what he said, verbatim,

"I am a firm believer that climate change is real, that it is impacted by human behavior and carbon emissions.”

“You know, as you know, Mark, we can’t attribute any particular weather event to climate change. What we do know is the temperature around the globe is increasing faster than was predicted even 10 years ago. We do know that the Arctic ice cap is melting faster than was predicted even five years ago. We do know that there have been extraordinarily — there have been an extraordinarily large number of severe weather events here in North America, but also around the globe.”

“And I am a firm believer that climate change is real, that it is impacted by human behavior and carbon emissions. And as a consequence, I think we’ve got an obligation to future generations to do something about it."

Yikes. Remember when Ted Danson was telling us the oceans would be dead in ten years if we didn't do something to stop global warming? Well, apparently, things are getting bad even faster than that. Bummer. And only a few weeks after that study that showed how global temperatures stopped rising 16 years ago. If you live near a coast, I hope you have a go bag ready. I hope you're not shrugging this off, because this could be very serious indeed.

While the rest of us busy ourselves by purchasing durable bicycles, protesting energy exploration in North America, and making compost heaps in our backyards with all the stuff we can't flush down our low-flow toilets, President Obama and his team will be working hard to do their part by making sure none of us are using the wrong light bulbs or flushing too much water.

Most importantly, President Obama and his team of crackerjack government specialists will be making another round of enormous "investments" of taxpayer money into the sort of green technology companies that can play a part in saving the world from this entirely foreseeable, human-caused disaster.

The world needs successful green tech companies, now more than ever. The stimulus-funded green companies from Obama's first administration will act as a great roadmap to how to do it. There was only one  problem with those state of the art, cutting-edge innovators. They all failed in the free market. Damn that free market. Now we'll have to do something about that, too.

There's obviously a lot of work to be done here, so I suggest we split the labor. I'll work on using your tax dollars manipulating and rigging the markets, while you go work in the compost heap.

[wita]

A classic.

...and now the latest bit of crap falling out of the election sandwich, “the fiscal cliff is manufactured”

The republicans did it.

Might as well say “it’s Bush’s fault”.

[moose07]

Had to check, out of interest.
Having been under the thing years ago.
Link
Thank you.

[Road Glide]

“Most importantly, President Obama and his team of crackerjack government specialists will be making another round of enormous “investments” of taxpayer money into the sort of green technology companies that can play a part in saving the world from this entirely foreseeable, human-caused disaster.”

The way things are going, we might even see Obama nominate AlGore to be our next Secretary of Energy. I expect it.

[Wuli]

“What we do know is the temperature around the globe is increasing faster than was predicted even 10 years ago.”

Obama may or may not be smart enough to know that it is only by the general public’s ignorance that such a statement will be accepted as true, because the climate facts say it is not true.

Obama does not care. He does not even care if the media’s own fact-checkers point at the “the temperature around the globe” IS NOT “increasing fsater than was predicted even 10 years ago”.

Obama’s propaganda machine will go to work repeating that statement in thousands of venues in the media, in “social media”, in politically organized “house partries”, in thousands of personal blogs, in psuedo-science publications, etc., etc. etc. His dumbed-down army created for him by the education industrial establishment will go on believing “the idea of man-made global warming” so much that looking into, hearing, or being told by anyone of the facts will not alter their belief.