Posted on 10/19/2012 7:43:32 AM PDT by ken5050
Hey, qman...I’ve been to one...it was the year of Bush v. Kerry so you’d think it would be campaign central that year...what happened was Kerry (with Tereeeeeeeeza) was skiing in Idaho and Bush had Andy Card phone it in.
Romney was superb in “unfriendly” territory but the best was the State Comptroller (I think) talking about getting invited to his first “gay wedding” (male to male)...
“So, who wear’s the wedding dress...?”....”You can’t get in trouble for telling the truth...”. Very funny...
I always wonder what lines end up get nixed when preparing for these events. Plus I always wanted to write jokes for the Al Smith dinner. Here’s some material I came up with. Too harsh?:
It’s been a long journey for the President. His own VP once said, controversially, that Obama is “clean and articulate.” After the first debate, we can revise that to “semi-articulate.”
Harry Reid once said of Barack Obama, “It’s amazing. 25 years ago he would have been serving us coffee.” Not accurate Harry. 3 months from now he’ll be serving himself coffee and wondering what happened.
Hey wasn’t Vice President Biden all smiles in that debate. My mother used to say if you don’t have anything nice to say, smile and say nothing. In Joe’s case it’s smile and know nothing, then never shut up.
We all saw Joe Biden try to re-use the old “You’re no Jack Kennedy line” against Paul Ryan in their debate. Of course Ryan never could be like Jack. Paul has too much respect for his wife.
Speaking of that Kennedy mystique, can’t you just picture Teddy cheering President Obama’s re-election from beyond Mary Jo’s grave.
It’s getting close to Halloween and the President’s daughters need costumes. May I suggest Want and Envy. The First Lady can be the Ghost of One-term Democratic President’s future.
Speaking of one-term Presidents. How about a shout out to Jimmy Carter. Keep those peanuts warm Jimmy. We’ve got a human who needs a habitat January 20.
Some say President Obama is half black. Others say half white. Can’t we just settle on half assed.
I talked to one black girl who said she was voting for the President because he is black. Some people would call that racism, but I like to see that kind of Solidarity. Actually that was her first name.
Hillary Clinton say the buck stops with her. But only when Michelle is out of town.
The President has accused Republicans of perpetuating a “War on Women.” I’m starting to think Sandra Fluke won’t accept my proposal to be my 45th wife. C’mon Sandra, I’ll throw in some free birth control and tickets to “Book of Mormon.”
Actually that’s just a joke about tired stereotypes. In reality, The Mormon Church doesn’t allow polygamy any more and all women named Sandra Fluke are not annoying, entitled harpies.
Despite all the misconceptions, Mormonism is more popular then ever.. Even Bill Clinton was interested until found out we outlawed plural marriage and sorry Bill, “magic underwear” do not in fact cure herpies.
Speaking of the Clintons, it’s clear that Hillary has really found a real groove as Secretary of State. Who would have thought that taking a job that requires long hours and endless travel would improve a marriage.
Democrats have learned a lot from their past mistakes. You know, Mondale, Dukakis, Gore, Kerry.
Speaking of my old friend from MA, Mike Dukakis, there’s a guy who knows how the media operates. They’re both in the tank.
The President said the murder of 4 Americans in Libya was sub-optimal. What he really meant was sub-liminal. If you check this broadcast frame by frame you can see him begging the public to ignore this issue until after the election.
Somebody caught me on tape saying I don’t give a flying crap about 47% of America. Clearly I misspoke. There are alot of ways I could spin this. But here’s my favorite: President Obama is losing to me in the latest Gallup even though I straight up admitted I don’t give a flying crap about 47% of America. Imagine what would happen if I didn’t express sneering contempt for the public.
And who, exactly, “wrote” this “rule”?
Mine’s staying long until I stop sucking air and I don’t care whose ‘rule’ that violates.
In fact, I only know of one ‘rule’ regarding women’s hair length:
But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering.”
(1Corinthians 11:14-15)
I think Woody Allen has already called dibs on Rachel Maddow.
Is it just me and my wife, but at Al Smith roast, throughout the time that Ozero speaks, we noticed OZero several times exhibit a nervous twitch under his right eye. I think he is not holding up well under the pressure.
Think “Patterson’s Appliances” in “That Thing You Do” when the proprietor hears his son, the drummer kid, mention the competitor “Tele-Mart” who is killing his business.
Mr. Patterson freezes momentarily, staring at his son, you can see his anger boiling up and his face increasingly twitch as he tries to suppress the rage.
Thank you Salamander! Certainly isn’t my rule. Thanks for posting that Scripture!
It’s deeper than that.
Paul also says that a woman’s hair is her natural ‘covering’ that serves as a modest -veil- before God and the angels.
And if it’s cut short:
1 Cor. 11:5 – But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved.
The “uncovered” means, in Greek, *cut short* and the ‘shaved’ refers to the punishment for prostitution/adultery/promiscuity.
There are two different words used for ‘covering’, one regards a man made veil and the other, the veil given to women by God.
The long/short/fashion/age argument could go on forever but for myself, I’ll always choose to make God happy.
The rule used to be that women past a certain age or marital status wore their hair UP.
All the time.
IMHO Sarah Palin looked classy and mature when she wore her hair UP, and looks as common as other celebrities now that she wears it down.
It never hurts to stand out.
The rule used to be that women past a certain age or marital status wore their hair UP. Not until the 20s did they cut their hair as an alternative to putting it UP.
All the time.
Men ask me all the time why is it that once the wedding ring is on the first things the bride does include, cutting her hair, putting on weight and shutting off the sex.
IMHO Sarah Palin looked classy and mature when she wore her hair UP, and looks as common as other celebrities now that she wears it down.
It never hurts to stand out.
And there’s the ‘sexual revolution/women’s roles’ societal rebellion angle to consider:
http://www.ehow.com/about_6641472_did-cut-hair-become-flappers_.html
You beat me by a minute.
:)
“The long/short/fashion/age argument could go on forever but for myself, I’ll always choose to make God happy.”
Good outlook!!
Makes my spouse happy too ;D!
Al Smith IV gives tons of money to the most pro-abortion politicians in New York.
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