The Piano Man Plays at the Star Wars Cantina

Leibowitz's Canticle ^ | September 7, 2012 | Leibowitz

[Bob Leibowitz]

The Democratic National Convention was a musical tragedy composed in three acts.

Tuesday night was the gathering of special interests and professional victims from every corner of the known universe, the most toxic group of economic and spiritual vampires since the mass gatherings in the early 18th century. If any suffering portion of the American subculture missed their turn at the bar, I missed it. It seemed that every ethnic, cultural, sexual group in the country with more than three members put in at least a cameo appearance, as did the community organizers, union bosses, government employees and all the others who make their living off the taxpayer. Each group had their chance, ordering drinks for the house, all on the tab.

Wednesday night's highlight was watching and listening to Mr. Bojangles himself, remixing songs from his top hits albums, humming the tunes when he couldn't remember his words. Older, greyer, thinner but still wildly attractive to many of the women and some of the men in the audience, still driving thrills.

By its final night, nostalgia had worn thin, replaced by a sense of sadness and loss. By next morning I was humming the tune from Piano Man. Though the words had changed just a bit, the feelings evoked were the same. Too much smoke, too much loneliness. The evening before an hour's respite from reality, weighed down with the absolute certainty that reality would return in full force, and the illusion would be gone.

It's ten o'clock on a Thursday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's a former President sitting next to me
Makin' love to the brunette like a sin

The audience chipped in, they felt the heat of their friends

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling alright

They knew what they wanted to hear, and they heard it, though it never was sung

They said, "Son, can you play us a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and we knew it complete
When you wore a younger man's clothes."

And the piano man sang them a song

Now Joey B. at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "Barry, I believe this is killing me."
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a President myself
If I could get out of this place"

He looked around with a jaundiced eye, always looking for his main deal

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the chairman gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while

And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And the press sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here?"

It's a sad morning, I must say. A hangover I'm not anxious to face. But partying to excess has a price and it's almost time for the tab.

Here is the original Billy Joel video, my favorite. Apologies to him for the parody.

[OrangeHoof]

If the DNC was stealing a Billy Joel song, it would be “We Didn’t Start The Fire” turned to “We Didn’t Start The Recession”.

Of course, the real DNC anthem would be “I Go To Extremes”.

[dfwgator]

Hopefully Obama’s song on January 20 of next year will be “Movin’ Out.”

[swamprebel]

If Clinton was singing Piano Man, Then Zero’s speech last night was a whine ladden version of “I Am An Innocent Man”.

[RichInOC]

Theme for a presidency…

You have to learn to pace yourself
Pressure
You’re just like everybody else
Pressure
You’ve only had to run so far
So good
But you will come to a place
Where the only thing you feel
Are loaded guns in your face
And you’ll have to deal with
Pressure!

You used to call me paranoid
Pressure
But even you can not avoid
Pressure
You turned the tap dance into your crusade
Now here you are with your faith
And your Peter Pan advice
You have no scars on your face
And you cannot handle pressure!

All grown up and no place to go
Psych 1, Psych 2
What do you know?
All your life is Channel 13
Sesame Street
What does it mean?
Pressure
Pressure

Don’t ask for help
You’re all alone
Pressure
You’ll have to answer
To your own
Pressure
I’m sure you’ll have some cosmic rationale
But here you are in the ninth
Two men out and three men on
Nowhere to look but inside
Where we all respond to
Pressure
Pressure

All your life is Time Magazine
I read it too
What does it mean?
I’ll tell you what it means…
Pressure

I’m sure you’ll have some cosmic rationale
But here you are with your faith
And your Peter Pan advice
You have no scars on your face
And you cannot handle pressure
Pressure
Pressure
One, two, three, four
Pressure!