I prefer 'surrendering to self.' When I manage to do that, all of my relationships, God, wife, children, are much better, and I, as a result, am much happier. That being the case, why is it still so darn hard? I'm sorry for your loss.
10 years next month for us.
I think your approach is a good one.
For me, I simply keep in mind how fallible I am. I don’t have any problem doing that, because I screw up stuff so often that when something is wrong, the first suspect in my own mind is ME!
My wife and I just celebrated our 23rd Anniversary last weekend. We went out to dinner in the middle of a stretch where I worked 43 hours without sleep, and had to take a couple of hours to go out for our anniversary dinner. I literally stopped working 10 min before we left, changed into good clothes, and when we came home, I went right back to work. I was in the middle of a deadline and had to fire the only person who could have helped me just as the meat of the project hit...the work still had to get done somehow.
Thing was, my wife understood completely. She didn’t harass me, admonish me, pester me, nag me, sulk or anything like that.
She did everything in her power to help ME get through it. Unselfishly.
How I love that woman. I am blessed.
“Although I quibble with the word choice ‘losers,’ the observations and philosophy of this article seem spot on.”
I agree, “Sweet Surrender” would have been much better. I love that song by John Denver - it is indescribably liberating.
Or maybe “Mutual Surrender”.