1. I taught my cocker spaniel to “aim and snap” using the midsection of an 0bama life-size cutout.
2. I told the neighborhood kids they could cut a hole in the TOTUS and use it for bean-bag throws.
3. There’s not enough grazing grass for Michelle.
4. I asked the next-door neighbor to hide in the bushes and play his banjo.
5. I sprayed the perimeter of my yard with pork-scented “Muslim-B-Gone.”
Hilarious! Can you point me to the place where you buy your Muslim-B-Gone?
Ha ha ha - pretty good. I’ll add:
1. My American flag would repel him like garlic to a vampire.
2. His head wouldn’t fit through my three-foot wide gate.
3. My sense of fashion decency would force me to turn Michelle away.
4. I don’t allow communists in my yard, and
5. I don’t allow communist douchebags in my yard.