Since I am paying for your so-called "experts", have them interpret this for you:
When promulgating your esoteric cognitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable philosophical and psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your verbal evaporations have lucidity, intelligibility and veracious vivacity without rodomontade or thespian bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous propensity and sophomoric vacuity.
Then, have them translate this: STFU
Sincerely,
An anally-assaulted taxpayer.
Nice. However, you missed the commas that go before “and” when writing a list.