Thinking, Feeling or Drinking? Three Ways to Look at Bailouts and Stimuli

North Star Writers Group ^ | January 7, 2009 | Nathaniel Shockey

[Invisigoth]

When people hear about the U.S. government’s various stimulus packages and bailouts, there are three types of reactions.

First, there’s the stupid one, which I’m approximating includes about a quarter of Americans – probably the same quarter that just can’t wait to see that new Van Wilder movie. The reaction goes something like this. “So how much are they sending me this time? I need to know so I can set a date for the party, which will undoubtedly feature massive amounts of alcohol and debauchery.” Actually, only about a quarter of this quarter understands the word “debauchery.”

Second, there is the mixed-feeling one. This group doesn’t really think about what’s going on, it just feels the weight of the situation. My guess is that 100 years ago, this group would have accounted for a very small percentage of Americans. But nowadays, I’m approximating that this group represents two-thirds of the population. Their response goes about like this: “I feel a little bit uneasy about all this bailout talk. It could be good, but it could also be bad. All this conversation about numbers and concretes is giving me a terrible headache.” At this point, members of the mixed-feeling group will either go eat, sleep, rent a movie, watch SportsCenter or poke their new friends on Facebook.