Posted on 11/23/2008 4:17:31 PM PST by theothercheek
as wide as one is long
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin’ world go ‘round.
Ladies:
#1 Jeans Rule: Must have back pockets — no jeans without back pockets.
Number Two Rule: No elastic waistband.
Number Three Rule: The waist of the jeans should be just high enough to cover your love handles, but not high enough to touch the bottom edge of your bra.
But what if your bra is really low?
Just bring back the bustle.
Cup this!
That used to be called a “long line” bra. Do they even make them anymore?
I am blessed with the kind of figure that attracts attention so I tend to dress fairly modestly (doesn’t stop anyone from looking but doesn’t make me feel like a slut when they do look). Therefore I would never wear low slung jeans and bare midriffs. I like the waist of my jeans to sit just at my natural waist - but I won’t wear pleated or baggy cuts; I like a nice, snug fit, because that’s what’s flattering on me.
And lest anyone think jeans like that aren’t sexy “enough” the a couple of months ago when I was walking down the street, a guy on a motorcycle popped a wheelie just for me. You can figure out the symbolism on your own ...
The marketeers we worked for closed down and I never got to see it go to market.
I've always wondered if I just missed my million dollar opportunity...
Let’s see how these new Levis jeans do, then you’ll have your answer. Look at Victoria’s Secret, for instance. All the bras are meant to create the illusion of cleavage for A-cup women (the secret is a dome-shaped foam cup that creates the shape a flat-chested woman don’t have and panels at the side that push the breasts together to create cleavage that a flat-chested woman doesn’t have. I read an article (I think in New York Observer) about how many men have been bummed out because they thought their girlfriends had breasts and found out otherwise once the VS bra came off.
My point being, anything that can do for the butt what VC has done for the breasts (or lack thereof) will make as much money.
Funny I've never been bummed once the nipple has had an appearance. (Might not be back though)
That was great. Really well done, from the announcer’s voice to the actresses they chose.
Now I’m going to go try to get into those minescule stretch Old Navy jeans my daughter bought me that are just high enough to cover the dark parts. They aren’t comfortable, I can’t do any work in them, and they fall apart after half-a-dozen trips through the washing machine, but they’re fashionable and sexy, and that’s the important thing, right? Right? God forbid I should wear anything comfortable and durable!
That’s your first mistake. Never wear anything anyone has bought for you - and shop by yourself so you can take as long as you need to in the fitting room.
When I try something on, I look at myself from every angle; I sit to see whether a skirt rides up or the waistband of the pants gap at the back; I twirl to see how the garment moves. It takes about 10 minutes per outfit to decide whether it’s flattering and well-made. You are the only one who has your own best interests at heart in the fitting room. No one else will spend that kind of time and effort on you but you.
One more thing: Although all of us can only afford to buy off the rack, tailoring does wonders. Nipping in the waist, moving a seam so it follows the curve of YOUR hips just so ... priceless.
These, perhaps?
The ad slogan suggests these might be the right jeans. Now, do you think they’ll make them to fit Michelle Obama’s hips and butt - or will she get treated to a custom pair because she’s the First Lady? Ah, the perks of power ...
I was just kidding. I have momjeans and tough, ugly Carhartts for the rugged work—chopping wood, cleaning stalls—when I am only going to be around women and I absolutely don’t care what I look like, because the important thing is to stay warm and get some work done. The little Old Navy jeans are for when I’m feeling and/or trying to be attractive, and am going to be wearing a tank top or some other piece of clothing suitable for women half my age. And they do look adorable.
During the campaign, when word surfaced of the $150K supposedly spent by the RNC on Sarah Palin's clothes, people said the Democrats didn't have a corresponding problem, because the clothiers were willing to provide them with freebies, and, being 'Rats they accepted them, even though they amount to illegal campaign contributions.
I was raised by a mom who was educated in a convent so the less I show the less self-conscious I feel when I get the wolf-whistles. That isn’t to say that my clothes aren’t form-fitting ...
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