Deadly Euphemisms

NoNAIS.org ^ | 2006-05-20 | Walter Jeffries

[pubwvj]

euphemism

• Main Entry: eu·phe·mism
• Pronunciation: 'yü-f&-"mi-z&m
• Function: noun
• Etymology: Greek euphEmismos, from euphEmos auspicious, sounding good, from eu- + phEmE speech, from phanai to speak -- more at BAN
• : the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant; also : the expression so substituted
• - eu·phe·mist /-mist/ noun
• - eu·phe·mis·tic /"yü-f&-'mis-tik/ adjective
• - eu·phe·mis·ti·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb

-M. Webster

The government works hard to put a positive spin on the bad news that what they want to do is kill all our livestock. They use words like depopulate:

depopulate

• Main Entry: de·pop·u·late
• Pronunciation: (")dE-'pä-py&-"lAt
• Function: transitive verb
• Etymology: Latin depopulatus, past participle of depopulari, from de- + populari to ravage
• 1 : obsolete : RAVAGE
• 2 : to reduce greatly the population of
• - de·pop·u·la·tion /(")dE-"pä-py&-'lA-sh&n/ noun

-M. Webster

Instead of coming right out and saying what they really mean:

Should USDA officially confirm the presence of a disease, such as FMD, the affected herd and all cattle, sheep, goats, swine, and susceptible wildlife—infected or not— within a minimum 10-kilometer zone around the infected farm would be killed. : If the disease were to spread beyond the initial zone, authorities would continue to quarantine and kill animals until the disease was “stamped out." -GAO Report 05-214 pages 31 & 34

Recently, Mark Bosma, the Vermont Ag Department's PR guy said, "I'll try to use euthanize if that is preferable to people."

euthanasia

• Main Entry: eu·tha·na·sia
• Pronunciation: "yü-th&-'nA-zh(E-)&
• Function: noun
• Etymology: Greek, easy death, from euthanatos, from eu- + thanatos death -- more at THANATOS
• : the act or practice of killing or permitting the death of hopelessly sick or injured individuals (as persons or domestic animals) in a relatively painless way for reasons of mercy
• - eu·tha·na·sic /-zik, -sik/ adjective

-M. Webster

The problem is they just doesn't get the point. People don't want their healthy animals depopulated, stamped out, euthanized or otherwise killed, maimed, spindled or injured by men in moon suites. It doesn't matter what you call it or what spin you put on the words. The effect is the same - unnecessary deaths. In other countries like England, Germany, India, France, Russia, Egypt and the far east this has lead to total destruction of the rural farm economies, destitution of the people, desolation of families and farmers committing suicide. Is that what our government is pressing for?

Personally, I prefer the immortal words of Arlo Guthrie, "Kill, Kill, Kill!" - It is so much more visceral and real. That is what is being done after all. Lots and lots and lots and lots of killing.

Euthanize has this connotation that you are going to gently put the pet dog or granny to sleep to end their pain. We are definitely not talking about euthanizing livestock.

Depopulate is so impersonal - maybe that is how it is for the desk jockeys who have never delivered a calf, nursed a sick chick or enjoyed the company of happy pastured piglets. To them perhaps the animals are just units to be cut from a production schedule. Small farmers and homesteaders feel a bit differently about the lives of the animals they nurture.

In the good news section we have the fact that Vermont, at least, is backing away from this "Kill, Kill, Kill!" scenario, er, I mean depopulation, and pushing testing in the new Vermont Agency of Agriculture's (AoA) Avian Influenza Response Plan. Our State Veterinarian Dr. Rood explained some of the AoA's new thinking in his letter recently. This is definite progress. You may want to ask your state Ag Dept. to consider examining Vermont's example. With time perhaps we can even get the USDA to consider a more scientific approach to disease control rather than mass killings of healthy livestock.

All terminology aside, I wonder specifically how does the government intend to go about killing all these animals? I am quite curious. How do they plan to "depopulate" 5 hens? 50? 500? 5,000? 50,000? 500,000? Okay, let's cut to the chase - how are they going to kill the 5,000,000,000 poultry in the United States? That's five billion birds! That number does not even include small producers which could add another billion birds or so. Realize that is just poultry. There are billions more swine, cattle, goats, sheep, horses and other animals. Then there are all the wild animals they want to kill. My estimate is there is about 1 Giga-ton of animal flesh ready for roasting at this grand BBQ...

This is a real question - I am not being facetious. I would really love to know how the government plans to kill five or six billion birds. Are they going to gas them? What will they do with five billion little dead bodies? Burn them? Have they already built the gas chambers and ovens? This is a major undertaking...

facetious

• Main Entry: fa·ce·tious
• Pronunciation: f&-'sE-sh&s
• Function: adjective
• Etymology: Middle French facetieux, from facetie jest, from Latin facetia
• 1: joking or jesting often inappropriately : WAGGISH
• 2: meant to be humorous or funny : not serious [a facetious remark]
• synonym see WITTY
• - fa·ce·tious·ly adverb
• - fa·ce·tious·ness noun

-M. Webster

So what is the euphemism for "Der Fearless Leader?" Johanns is going to need a good title.

[Responsibility2nd]

[pubwvj]

hmm... Put one pancake below the bunny and we've got a sandwich.