"but didn't feel that grade-school kids being home alone for hours after school was a problem."
I remember when I would come home from school. I would keep looking at the time and when it was close to the time Mom would be home, I would position myself at the window waiting for her. I was so lonely and couldn't wait to talk to her. Unfortunately, she had to get dinner ready and then she was just too tired to talk.
That is major league sad, skylark. If you don't mind me being nosy, how old are you?
I have one kid, my oldest actually, who hates being alone. Even though I'm usually home, there are times when he'll be alone. He's close to 16 years old, but when he hears he'll be alone for a large chunk of the day he says, "Oh no, this is going to be a sad day."
Some kids need people around them more than others. I have another kid would could care less.
I know how you felt. I find it very hard to be a parent. I was not taught parenting skills. I read a lot of books, listen to a lot of tapes, take a lot of classes. But, I think the best thing I can do, is spend as much time with the kids as possible. Talk, play and listen. Seems to be what they want.
But I must admit I find it difficult to relate to them. A life spent dealing with all my own emotions, all my own problems and joys, on my own, does not give one the people skills they need to survive adulthood.