I'm not toothless(36 and still have them all) or inbred. I don't chew or wave flags, although I do display the folded up American flag that came off my Grandpa's coffin from ww2.
But I'm a redneck. I eat catfish, have a truck and a dog. I've lived in a couple of trailers, although I don't now.
You know what? I could give a damn what a puke, scumbag leftist DU kid calls me or thinks of me. Or anybody else for that matter that uses the term redneck in an extremely derogatory tone.
Neither would all the rednecks I know. We're all too busy working, hunting, fishing, serving in the military, stopping on the side of the interstate to help some DU pukes Mother change her flat, otherwise being productive members of society.
Two years ago, I traveled to San Antonio to supervise the installation of an exhibit at an IT trade show. After the installation was completed, I was checking out of the hotel(The one right across from the alamo) and got in line behind some college kids at the service desk who were obviously in town to attend the same trade show I had just set a booth up in.(In other words, they had geek factors through the roof).One had on a Berkerly t-shirt.
There was about 10 of them, and they were a serious delay in my already tight schedule to catch my flight home.
There was a sign off to the side that said,"Welcome Dixie Plywood".
One of the students, of Indian decent, cracked,"Look, dixie plywood." and commenced to doing the beavis and butthead chuckle, which soon spread to his friends.
I figured I better speak quickly before they cracked an inbred joke, making me mad.
Now I ain't a big guy at all, but the Indian student jumped when I spoke out in my obvious southern drawl,"I don't get it."
The whole group turned to look at me. Indian guy bulging eyes contrasted his brown skin, exaggerating the visual effect.
Then I said,"Ohhh...Dixie, redneck, I get it." throwing in a sarcastic "ha...ha".Then I took my cellphone out and acted like I was calling my imaginary dixie plywood buddy.
"Hey Mike, had a blast last night, yeah, hey listen, there's a group of Berkely geeks down here making fun of your company name."
"Yeah, they're at the sign up desk, and they'll be here a while, there's about 10 of them checking in."
"Well, I don't feel you owe me anything, but if you can get me an autograph from Coach Dye next time y'all have a team reunion, I'd be happy as a possum in the briar patch."
I hung up the phone. In full group panic, the students went into bail mode, grabbing up their luggage and leaving the check in counter to avoid the dixie plywood rednecks coming down to beat them up.
As they were discussing the option of sitting in starbucks or borders, I interrupted them with,"Now y'all be careful walking around that riverwalk at night, I saw a water moccasin bigger around than y'alls legs, and they're real aggressive right now because it's time for their eggs to hatch."
" And another thing, y'all are in Texas. There are women here that can kick anyone of your a$$es, so I'd watch what you say cracking redneck jokes."
I had a big grin on my face the whole flight back to Atlanta.
To this day, I wonder if they ever figured out Mike didn't exist, or the fact they got outsmarted by a redneck who wasn't trying hard. I wonder if they went anywhere along the riverwalk at night during their stay. I wonder if they moved to another motel.
Everytime I hear redneck in a derogatory,"I smarter than you" manner, I think of those Berkerly geeks, and smile to myself.