I’d be tickled to death if the schools taught English. Have you had any conversations with the kids getting out of high school? Like wow, like really, like, like, hhmmmm, like......
High school? I have many young relatives. Some are still college, and some have graduated college within the last 8 years.
Same patterns of speech I confronted while teaching high school and the same diminished cognitive abilities. This does not apply to all of them, but most of them fit this description.