Coffee? Caffeine is a mind altering chemical. Good thing you picked a government approved drug or you would have to expect a midnight knock on the door with a battering ram.
Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts...arrest them all. Throw away the key. Did you know that if you give rats Mocha Lattes all day they will pee a lot and become schizophrenic. That study was funded by Salada Tea. What other evidence do we need? Damn those crazy libertarians. ;-)