Grooming: Know the Warning Signs

RAINN ^ | July 10, 2020 | N/A

[DoodleBob]

... Grooming can take place online or in-person. It’s usually employed by a family member or someone else in the victim’s circle of trust, such as a coach, teacher, youth group leader or others who naturally have some interaction with the victim.

Though grooming can take many different forms, it often follows a similar pattern.

Victim selection: Abusers often observe possible victims and select them based on ease of access to them or their perceived vulnerability.

Gaining access and isolating the victim: Abusers will attempt to physically or emotionally separate a victim from those protecting them and often seek out positions in which they have contact with minors.

Trust development and keeping secrets: Abusers attempt to gain trust of a potential victim through gifts, attention, sharing “secrets” and other means to make them feel that they have a caring relationship and to train them to keep the relationship secret.

Desensitization to touch and discussion of sexual topics: Abusers will often start to touch a victim in ways that appear harmless, such as hugging, wrestling and tickling, and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contact, such as massages or showering together. Abusers may also show the victim pornography or discuss sexual topics with them, to introduce the idea of sexual contact.

Attempt by abusers to make their behavior seem natural, to avoid raising suspicions. For teens, who may be closer in age to the abuser, it can be particularly hard to recognize tactics used in grooming. Be alert for signs that your teen has a relationship with an adult that includes secrecy, undue influence or control, or pushes personal boundaries.

[DoodleBob]

There are a LOT of similarities between these flags, and contemporary educator & entertainment strategies.

Check out this thread - SEXUAL MISCONDUCT IN THE CLASSROOM: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

We can stop prioritizing the comfort of adults, over the safety of children. Why do school employees sexually abuse and exploit students?Because they CAN.

[Dilbert San Diego]

I have often heard how those with bad intentions, get into positions in which they will spend a lot of time with children, such as becoming teachers and sports team coaches.

[DoodleBob]

Indeed...What do they say about robbers and banks?

I've done a fairly deep dive on this topic. The stunning revelation is that groomer educators often get away because the unions protect them AND adults tend to disbelieve the kids because teachers are often "respected."

It's truly a disgusting situation.

[Dr. Franklin]

Traditionally, teachers who bonded with students were able to stay in touch after leaving, or after a student graduated. That isn’t a bad thing, and such mentoring is usually a good thing, particularly with disadvantaged children or those missing a parent, etc. People need to be careful that “grooming” doesn’t become hysteria that intimidates good teachers from interacting with their students, or coaches with their teams, etc. I am seeing this happen and it is very wrong.

There are also constitutional first amendment freedoms getting frozen as well. Newt Gingrich married his high school math teacher. No one charged her with anything, and Newt appears not to have been harmed by that relationship. At one point in America, marriage was considered the goal to channel sex into families and children, and getting married ended any claim of an educator’s impropriety, but not today. A teacher can lose his/her teaching license for getting romantically involved with a student, but if it isn’t illegal sex with a minor, it’s not criminal.

[Openurmind]

Don’t take candy from strangers...

[AndyJackson]

Sniffing little girls hair while getting 10%

[No name given]

They don’t actually care about children.

[DoodleBob]

All true and fair.

But unlike the Boy Scouts which implemented Two-Deep leadership protocols and other controls to guard against abuse, frommy reading not many school districts have equally-robust controls in place. Why?

[CodeToad]

The article didn’t mention the primary word in grooming: Incrementalism.

Grooming works by getting the victim to accept small changes.

1. You’ll let me talk to you, right?
2. You’ll let me sit next to you, right?
3. You like when I compliment you, right?

This goes into then touching a little, to talking dirty a little, to then the groomer performing some acts on themselves, to inviting the victim to do the same to themselves, to eventually full blown acts the victim never thought they would ever do.

Incrementalism is the tool of the left, including in politics. They win one thing to incrementally move to the final and larger goal.

Never let a groomer even start because they will never stop.

[KC_for_Freedom]

Grooming behaviors are not only used to gain a victim’s trust, but often are used to create a trustworthy image and relationship with their family and community. Child and teen sexual abusers are often charming, kind, and helpful — exactly the type of behavior we value in friends and acquaintances.

My abuser befriended my dad and offered me a job working with him. He took me to lunch where I was admired as a new conquest might be. I was pretty unaware of the steps that he followed. He was charming and in a position of power at his job.

[DoodleBob]

Parenthetically, Gingrich is low on my list of People Who Have Lead Exemplary Personal Lives. He was in a virtual “how frequently can I divorce and still keep my job?” contest with Limbaugh

[Right Brother]

Here's an obvious one and it can be found in the grocery aisle:

[bert]

So, throw out the babies with the prudish bathwater is the best course

[Dr. Franklin]

All true and fair.
But unlike the Boy Scouts which implemented Two-Deep leadership protocols and other controls to guard against abuse, frommy reading not many school districts have equally-robust controls in place. Why?

Well the Boy Scouts got burned after years of covering such things up. Teaching is a low paying profession, which is now experiencing a teacher shortage. Going after teachers for "grooming", which is itself not likely a crime, means fewer teachers. Why would anyone want to risk a criminal prosecution for engaging in constitutionally protected conduct? There's a difference between punishing the truly guilty, and a witch hunt that targets people honestly trying to make a difference in their little corner of the world.

[Dr. Franklin]

Parenthetically, Gingrich is low on my list of People Who Have Lead Exemplary Personal Lives. He was in a virtual “how frequently can I divorce and still keep my job?” contest with Limbaugh

Agreed, but the issue here is actually his first wife. I am a bit skeptical of claims that female teachers take advantage of their younger male students. Nobody forces these guys to have an erection and have sex with an attractive young teacher. Conversely, there are many, many female students who grow up without a father figure. They can easily latch on to a male teacher as that. Then the mother freaks out that the teacher is "too close" to her daughter. The social problem is larger than just the teachers, who often are actually serving as salutary role models for such students.

[Empire_of_Liberty]

Your next installment needs to be on how to properly dispose of the body.

[TheShaz]

Democrats

If they aren’t trying to kill unborn children, they are molesting the survivors of abortion.

[joma89]

First sign is they come out as gay.

[dragonblustar]

Wrong. Men have always been predators and will often seek out girls to exploit. Mothers have every right to “freak out” if some old fat bastard is getting too close to her daughter.