Posted on 03/11/2019 5:53:01 AM PDT by sodpoodle
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)
3. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?
5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
And the best one of them all is-------
24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?
I like #14. One of those things you never think about...
Why do they say the pyramids are examples of great achievement? I say they were built by people with diminishing goals.
What’s the over and under on how many men checked their license after reading that?
If cigarettes damage your lungs, why doesn’t marijuana?
Seriously
Why aren’t global warming idiots called warmists?
East is to West but why isn’t it North and Sorth?
Different chemicals in the smoke.
Or oneteen. And twelve would be twoteen. Threeteen, fiveteen, etc.
Why is everyone racing each other to the red light?
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Good post... :)
There is tar in the MJ smoke so it isn't good for your lungs. It will do damage over time.
If Australia is down under, are we up over? Who says Australia isn’t up over or over sideways. Does space have ups and downs?
Oneteen
LOL!
A lot of bald men have beards, and eyebrows; so I guess that’s the color they put down.
I checked mine, no hair color, just eyes
What’s under hair color? N/A maybe?
No hair color space, just eye color
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