I am old and old fashioned, of course but I think it was foolish for parents (or anyone) to start planning birthday parties away from the home. Once they started having them at commercial places which cost a lot more than “at home” would, every parent felt OBLIGATED to do it whether or not they could afford it. The commercial ones just grew and grew out of all proportion with the parents of the birthday boy or girl forking out $$$ to feed every relative that accompanied the invited guest. In days gone by - yesteryear, in fact - children were invited to a home party, they were delivered to the home party, the kids all had a grand time and the kids were all picked up at a designated ending time.
Who says the old ways weren’t the best? I remember attending home parties at different homes in the ‘40’s and ‘50’s..but of course, no commercial places were available then and certainly no one ever dreamed they would come along in later years. And on top of all those crazy “old” customs, pizza hadn’t even been invented yet!!!
Our daughter planned the first few birthday parties for our grandson exactly like other parents did - and I told her they would get out of hand and they did. Now it’s back to invites to the home for games, pizza, cake/ice cream and no one complains and no relatives of the invited kids attend! It only takes a few to start the reverse trend.
Not as old as you but the reason parents used to have birthday parties at home was because a. it was inexpensive to bake a cake or buy one, and b. my friends and I wouldn’t dream of misbehaving at the party. The standard of good behavior was universal. And most parents applied swift punishment for “bad” behavior.