I so want to see a picture of that damn table. We should be able to. We own that thing.
It’s probably in McCabe’s House, Clinton-style.
“Over there you can see our range of affordable tables. Our bestseller comes directly from Versailles and was briefly used as a guillotine to punish the excesses of the aristocracy. In the midrange, we have one constructed from the trunk of a redwood that grew unmolested in California for hundreds of years, predating the arrival of Lewis and Clark.
Ooh, I see you looking at that conference table. It LOOKS like a normal conference table, but before we put the finish on, we took the entire paycheck of a family of four and burned it in front of them. That’s what those streak marks are. Tears, and the residue from the burning. If you spread a cloth on this table and speak the magic words, it will be set with all manner of good dishes and you can feed almost a million people, but that carries an added markup of $150,000.
But if you don’t need the cloth or additional features, you can get it for $31,000.
What other items can I help you with?”