The Face Of Addiction

The Courier-Tribune ^ | 5/20/18 | Annette Jordan

[OneVike]

On May 1, Jason Bigelow’s body was discovered in an abandoned house near High Point. He had been missing from his Asheboro home for a week, and while the autopsy results are still pending, his wife, Anna, has no doubt what the cause of death was.

On April 30, the day before he was found, she posted this on Facebook in one angry, anguished burst:

“My husband is missing and no one has heard from him in 6 days. Even in his darkest of times he would have not gone that long without communication. It’s hard to know what to feel, stricken with fear, paralyzed with worry.

“Addiction, it’s the one word no one wants to talk about, like a dark secret, but it’s destroyed so many lives. To be honest I’m not mad at Jason. If anything I’m mad at the community who looked at him so differently because of his addictions and faults. I feel like God’s grace has never run out on him, but our grace ran out for him. People think here we go again, or it’s another relapse, or if he loved his family then why couldn’t he just quit. I will say this, I have never once doubted Jason’s love for me or the kids.

“Addiction is like a dark cloud that comes in and consumes you, takes away your ability to make a choice and torments your soul. I apologize for my brutal honesty, but maybe that’s what this town needs, not small talks, pretend smiles and bull****. But truth, our struggles, our weaknesses.”

Jason and Anna’s story begins at Appalachian State University where they were students. One day in the library, he walked up to the pretty co-ed, teasing her that she needed to leave because she was “distracting him and he wasn’t getting any work done.” From there, Jason pursued her romantically, and while she was at first reluctant, soon found herself falling in love.

“He’d take me to waterfalls, take me hiking, take me to sunsets. He always took me to beautiful places,” she says.

On Jan. 14, 2007, they married in one of those beautiful places, “a big cliff that overlooks all of Boone,” the very place he had asked her to be his girlfriend.

The couple shared a love of the outdoors, which they would impart to their children, Bearik, Grace and Maverick. Hiking, riding mountain bikes, snowboarding, jumping off waterfalls, hanging hammocks over cliffs — those were good times. Anna loved the way Jason was easy-going and non-judgmental, “the most loving, accepting person you could meet.” He had a heart of gold, family would later write in his obituary in The Courier-Tribune, an unforgettable smile and an energy that brought light to any dark room.

But underneath the light lay a darkness.

She traces the seed of his addiction back to an early childhood condition (paresthesia) that required Jason to “wear braces, kind like Forrest Gump, on his legs” and introduced him to pain medication. The disease didn’t take full root, however, until after they married and he underwent a hip replacement — and lots of pain pills — followed by severe, life-threatening complications. And even more pain-killers.

By the time they moved to Asheboro in the spring of 2007 and Bearik’s birth in June, Jason’s medicating had spiraled into something dangerous.

So had Anna’s.

“I started using with him,” she says, drugs like Oxycodone, cocaine, whatever they could find. “We started shooting up together. Now that I look back I wasn’t an addict. I was an abuser. I was trying to deal with being in a relationship with an addict and the only way I could connect with him or be with him was use with him.”

They both lost their jobs … and worse.

[JimRed]

That include saloon owners

Is that a question or a statement? Anyway, having been a bouncer, bartender and bar manager in a former life, I can tell you that saloon owners are operating under a set of rules; drug dealers (and even doctors who fail to follow up on their medicated patients) are not. Knowingly serve an intoxicated patron and you risk your license plus civil liability. Have habitual troublemakers causing police calls to your establishment and you may get your license suspended or revoked.

[Blue House Sue]

“There comes a time when it’s not a choice and I do not expect you to understand that at all.”

Was it a choice for the couple featured in the article to load their child in the car and go rob a bank?

[Altura Ct.]

BM

[unlearner]

Thanks for posting this. Rings very true. I have several friends and family members who have struggled with drug abuse and addiction. One just got out of jail for it. Another has pretty much lost everything. But I have seen some delivered from through their faith and walk with Jesus.

[AlanSC]

You are mistaking physical dependence as being addiction. Your body became accustomed to the drug. You weren’t lying to get drugs, or faking a pain, or any other drug seeking behavior assiated with addiction. Had you just tritated down the dose you probably would have been ok. Trying stopping coffee cold turkey. Caffeine is not great to stop cold and in fact it sucks but you probably wouldnt refer to yourself as an addict. Physical dependence is far different than addiction.

[Hildy]

I said addiction.

[katana]

If you are fortunate enough to have never been addicted to anything like alcohol, tobacco, painkillers, or opium it would be difficult to explain so you’d understand what the compulsion to relapse feels like. In the case of tobacco, my former habit, the extreme anxiety when the effects of your last cigarette begin to wear off is genuine and physical. For months after I quit I’d have dreams about having a cigarette. For those who have quit, remaining “sober” is a day to day struggle. It may be a “choice” to start, but once addicted the craving never fully goes away. Better to pray thanks that there but for God’s grace go you than critique others for what you perceive as their weakness.

[Blue House Sue]

Yes, addiction.

But the couple in the article used their addictions as an excuse to take their kids along on an armed bank robbery.

At that point, they are vile human filth.

[dfwgator]

Addiction doesn’t even have to be chemical in nature. Gambling can also be an addiction.

[Blue House Sue]

“Your body became accustomed to the drug.”

Perhaps they should become addicted to large doses of personal responsibility.

[RedWing9]

What really bothers me is this push by society to treat addicts as if they have a birth defect or cancer.

Wouldn't it be surprising then, if you looked deeper then your own knowledge, to find that there is some research out there that suggests genetics are at hand. Some have a proclivity to overuse... your opinion, and many on this thread, is so sad to see. If all you have is anger then i suggest you avoid commentating on subjects like theses.

Do some reading

[Hildy]

Actually, Gambling is one of the most destructive of all the addictions. I’ve seen it up front and personal. I live in a gambling town. The stories I have seen and heard are heartbreaking.

[Hildy]

Actually, Gambling is one of the most destructive of all the addictions. I’ve seen it up front and personal. I live in a gambling town. The stories I have seen and heard are heartbreaking.

[dfwgator]

And now the government has officially blessed sports gambling.

[RedWing9]

it is a CHOICE made by the addict.

See my post above. Better start rethinking your choice of words.

[OneVike]

I forgot that. I too read Doyle’s story, “The Man With the Twisted Lip.”.

I have the complete collection of Sherlock Holmes in two volumes.

Sherlock was hooked on opium.

[Blue House Sue]

While the liberal author of this article attempts to make this junkie couple seem sympathetic, the facts are they are criminal thugs.

[OneVike]

Thanks, and prayers for your daughter and you. For the fight is real and it can be long.

Christ is the only way out

[sheana]

The point was.....had I just kept taking the drug, instead of flushing them, I may have done all that you mentioned to keep getting them.

[Hildy]

Yep