Posted on 04/23/2017 8:43:56 PM PDT by BJ1
Declining marriage rates among millenials are a matter of some unease in the conservative policy world, as can be seen in W. Bradford Wilcox’s recent article. This trend may be partly due to an increasing imbalance in the number of marriageable men and women at all levels of society. For example, women have attended and graduated from college at higher rates than men for some years now, and in 2010 women receiving doctoral degrees outnumbered men for the first time.
The overall cultural sense is that women are gaining and men are falling behind, as Hanna Rosin argues in The End of Men. Women regularly take to the internet either to bemoan the lack of marriageable men or to tut-tut at women who weren’t smart enough to marry early (see Princeton Mom and Camille Paglia). Furthermore, as described in Charles Murray’s Coming Apart, the state of marriage among the non-college-educated is even more dire than among the college-educated, so these women probably would not have found a spouse even if they had decided not to pursue higher education.
(Excerpt) Read more at thepublicdiscourse.com ...
Its way cheaper than a divorce...
Damn, is it time to pay that tuition again ???
Will start putting a girl through college this coming autumn. And will start putting a boy through college ten years later, in 2027.
I love my children!
Its [sic! should read: it's] way cheaper than a divorce...
I agree: Divorce is expensive. That's why it is important to marry the "right" girl.
Regards,
Well I know a guy in his late 40’s who married at 32 after being single til then...it lasted just 3 yrs....he’s now been on his own again for 6 yrs. and doing very well being single.
For him it isn’t about being with women..it’s about not having to be accountable to another. To go and be and do whenever he wants. He calls it “freedom” to be himself and not what women want to shape you into.
I’m married to a woman who is faithful, makes meals from scratch everyday, keeps the house very clean, exercises everyday and takes very good care of herself in order to stay attractive and feminine. She is drop dead gorgeous and sexy as hell, even comparing to attractive 20 year-olds, and if I posted a photo of her I think most would agree. I would hope I never ever get the type of freedom your friend has.
You all just didn’t know how to find them.
I have news for the author of this article, marriage rates started to decline with the tail end of the baby boomers. That's when women started to put family and especially husbands dead last in their priorities. And they managed to revamp the legal system so marriage was their winning lottery ticket via divorce.
Men tried to hang in there. But they have increasingly realized that marriage provides them no benefits and virtually guarantees loss. That is a contract men are now refusing to sign.
For those women who wanted to wear the pants in the family, well, they got the pants but lost the family. Am sure they will take comfort in their later years about having great careers but no husband, children, or grandchildren.
In the meantime, western civilization crumbles.
Any article on this issue that does not discuss the horrific bias against men in divorce courts - that makes marriage a very unattractive option - is not worth the paper it is printed on.
What the feminists have created, the feminists have to live with.
Men choose not to join in that trap.
Dakota you have a gift. Your post reads well. Sadly, it’s a depressing read.
“As for women are shallow and stupid, it was not my intention to post anything that comes across that way.”
I don’t think you did. I would say that the focus of the content in various articles does lead that way and I made assumptions without reading your post more clearly. I apologize.
The book “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both” was written in 2007. In it’s pages I found descriptions of college life wherein women are agreeing to be used sexually in exchange for...nothing really. Some of the college girls in the book would cross campus at night on the bus to go to the mens dorm. They’d play ping pong, have pizza, perform sexual acts on their male “friends” and then board the bus late at night to go home. There’s a weird pride in “no strings attached” as if one or more generations of young people have seen the divorce mine fields and decided it’s best not to engage in the battle of the sexes.
The journalist interviews women from ivy league schools who feel “liberated” by their “ability” to sleep with any and all men in order to perform as a “healthy, liberated modern woman.” The men don’t have a reason to choose one woman and while they are decadent in their sexual expectations (sex delivered to the dorms freely) they also don’t consider these freely available (desperate) girls serious relationship-marriage material. Wheels really coming off society - at least in that book and those interviews. Sad.
Don’t know how widespread the attitudes in the book are, but it does seem to be part of the commodification of sex which results in the breakdown of relationships between men and women. The women feel used, the men seem ambivalent but disappointed that there aren’t more girls to choose from (those not on the market for sex) and both seem to fear the perception that they might want something more (relationship - marriage).
Interestingly (I thought), one woman who forced herself to be sexually available for acceptance in her freshman year manages to rein it in and step out of the mad rush to bed. She later shakes her head in horror and says, “What was I thinking????” She is in the minority in that book.
Hypergamy is law of the land.
“Every passing year is better for us, money piles up. Hell, we even get better looking as we age.”
In other words,
Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble
When you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
Cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me,
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord It’s hard to be humble,
But I’m doing the best that I can.
(BTW, happily married & above the fray.)
>>>The men don’t have a reason to choose one woman and while they are decadent in their sexual expectations (sex delivered to the dorms freely) they also don’t consider these freely available (desperate) girls serious relationship-marriage material.<<<
I have often thought about this. I get it, the guys don’t want to marry a woman that is easy. However, the culture being what it is, aren’t men just finding a similar woman later in life? In other words, the nice girl men are settling down with, were promiscuous in their college years/early 20s.
And going off on a tangent, have you noticed how many mothers walk around in public with those tight fighting yoga pants with their daughter in tow? I cringe at the sight. Something is wrong in our culture for that to be a thing. IMO anyways.
Eh, start with the 60’s perhaps and the feminist movement, the gay movement, the equality movement - the utter destruction of traditional morality, the family, and marriage, and the war on children (abortion so women can slut around like men and not have to face the consequences).
There are so many layers to the present mess that it’s not as simple as all women are stupid or all men are dogs. Now we have a new generation of helpless, mindless snowflakes who won’t be able to handle reality and may not be able to keep jobs or ever act like grownups at all. Society is a wreck and seems to be disintegrating into total anarchy and war in the streets.
The so-called “progressive” social re-engineering crap has completely failed. Traditional society was more sane, even though it had its problems. Those days are gone. Thank the democrats, who wanted this chaos and now have it in spades.
We all know couples like this. They're our examples. Think of them. And that’ll chase away the depressing read.
Yes, I agree. They are marrying the same kind of women later. I was working for a clinical psychologist when I read that book. I described the contents and she commented that if the information in it was genuine (not slanted) then many of those women have been traumatized (when life is not what you thought it was to a drastic degree. Little girls grow up wanting to be special to someone and end up acting/being treated like a “service” girl) The girls would be traumatized and that condition can result in frigidity (feeling used shuts down passion). How many men have you heard complain that their wives only slept with them until they married and then sex stopped. It might be that those women are/were traumatized and they didn’t grow out of trauma - they just learned “men talk to me if I give them sex” and used that to secure a mate. So a guy may be sleeping with x number of women and at that same time, his wife-to-be is one of x women that some other guy is sleeping with - the two come together later in life and it doesn’t always go well due to old baggage. So yes - the guy is marryign the same kind of women.
So when men complain their wives deny them sex, I wonder if some of his old flames are denying other guys sex because of “wine ‘em and dine em” or “The Girls Get Prettier At Closing Time”
. Mind you, I’m only zeroing in on this issue - there are women and men who have these behaviors (e.g., manipulative women who set the rules to get what they want) for other reasons.
I find it appropriate when people who refuse to marry ultimately find themselves unloved and alone as they age.
God presents us his plan.
rejecting that plan has a built in consequence.
There is a simple reason why men are more reluctant than ever to get married - it’s a cost-benefit analysis.
Traditionally men have gotten married for the following reasons:
1. Easy availability of reasonably regular sex
2. Social pressure
3. Status symbol of having a wife and family
4. companionship, having a partner to build a satisfying life together
In doing a cost-benefit analysis, one needs to look at what choices one has in securing what he wants.
In the case of 1, sex has never been easier to obtain outside of marriage, thanks to the sexual revolution and feminism, and there are few if any strings attached. So marriage loses out regarding reason 1.
Reason 2. Social pressure to be married is almost non existing today, so marriage loses out in that regard.
Reason 3. Social status of having a family. That is still there to some extent but much less so. And with the disbandment of the nuclear family, you can have a “family” without marriage. But I would grant that marriage still has some value in this regard.
Reason 4. Companionship, having a partner to build a life together. This like 3, is still there, but again to a lesser extent, and can be also achieved outside of marriage in a socially acceptable way.
So the benefits of marriage for a man have gone down.
If we look at the “costs” associatd with marriage for a man we have.
1. A legal system that is more biased than ever against married men, both in terms of custody and finances. So if you end up with the wrong partner you will have hell to pay.
2. The probability of finding the “right” partner has gone down quite a bit with the advent of ever more radical feminism. Women, especially college educated women have been brainwashed into believing that men must accommodate their whims and idiosyncrasies to the point that men have to alter their own nature. Men have to become soft and effeminate - they have to betray their own nature. Ironically, if they comply, this will only result in the women further losing respect for the men, because notwithstanding their brainwashed external attitude, their deep down natural yearning is for a strong man that can provide and take care of them.
The more radical ones have also been taught that all sex is rape, so your easily available married sex is fraught with risk if you end up with the wrong woman.
This lower probability of locating the “right” woman significantly increases the probability of paying hell for the mistake. Who needs that?
So with marriage benefits for men going down and with costs sharply higher, it makes perfect sense that rational males are passing on marriage.
You are one of the fortunate ones I see.....
“offer it up to the poor souls in Purgatory”....
this goes to all young people....if you think you need to find a Barbie doll or a famous handsome football player to marry, you're going to be terribly disappointed....
they don't exist in high numbers...
maybe the Mormons have it right....get engaged in HS and that's that....no more dating...plan on marriage right after HS or college....
sounds like you have a nice slave..congrats! Not all of us want that and it doesn’t make you any better than me..just different
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