On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they start to wonder: Could they get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they immediately ask him.
St. Peter replies, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” He leaves.
The couple sat and waited for St. Peter to return, but he never did. 9 weeks later, and the couple were still waiting. They started to wonder, if things didn’t work out, could they get a divorce in heaven? Another month later, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
“Yes,” he informs the couple. “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Awesome!” the couple responds enthusiastically. “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter’s face suddenly turned red with anger. He slammed his clipboard to the ground. Frightened, the couple asked “What’s wrong?”
“OH, COME ON!” St. Peter shouted. “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”
An engineer finds himself at the Pearly Gates and is informed, much to his surprise, that he won’t be allowed in and will have to go to the other place.
Several days later God is asking St. Peter where the new engineer is. St. Peter informs him that the engineer was sent to the other place. God tells St. Peter to check because it must be a mistake. Sure enough, St. Peter comes back and admits he got the wrong name.
Sighing, God picks up the phone. “Satan? Yeah, God. Listen, it looks like we’ve had another one of our mix-ups and we sent you an enginerr by mistake. I need to ask you to send him back up.”
Satan says, “No way! I can’t tell you how happy we’ve been since that engineer got here. He’s already air-conditioned the place. He’s put in escalators to the deepest of the bottomless canyons. Right now he’s rigging up power shovels for the coal mines. You ain’t getting this guy back.”
God screams into his phone, “You’d better send him back or I’ll sue!”
“Right,” Satan replies. “And where are you gonna find a lawyer?
A young engineer is taken in the prime of his life and finds himself in Hell.
He prays for God to redeem him into heaven.
God calls the Devil and asks him to send up the engineer up to heaven, but the Devil declines.
God demands the Devil comply or else God will sue the Devil.
The Devil responds, “Oh, yeah?! where ya going to get a lawyer??”