Posted on 11/22/2016 12:05:50 PM PST by simpson96
Step One: Denial
LOL this isn't happening. Michelle has always been our first lady and she always will be. She never goes away. She's like the Queen of England or packing peanuts. She will always be around. LOL. Everything is fine. I don't even know why I clicked on this article. Alright, back to the bunker.
Step Two: Throw Shade
At who? Everyone. Externalize your angst with some seismic eye-rolls and well timed zingers at Thanksgiving dinner. It probably won't make you feel better and might get you disinherited (and it's technically not "going high" as Michelle might say) but it does make for a pretty satisfying GIF. Baby steps.
Step Three: Complete Breakdown
Burst into tears when the barista asks you if you want a treat receipt. Sit alone on the subway and sing sad Beyoncé songs. Hug strangers randomly and make them promise to never leave you. Whatever it takes to express yourself. Why do you think Kanye cancelled the rest of his Saint Pablo Tour? Michelle-related grief. None of us are immune.
Step Four: Eat your feelings. In vegetables.
This is your turning point. Or turnip point, actually. Who can say why Michelle Obama loves vegetables as much as she does, but what better way to honor her legacy than to dig into a head of cauliflower, seasoned with your tears? And some Lawry's.
Step Five: Hydrate
The first lady doesn't want you to be ashy.
(Excerpt) Read more at elle.com ...
Crank up your favorite Stevie Wonder album, push the couch back to the wall, call up your best pal Shonda Rhimes and have an old school, Grey's Anatomy dance party. It will make you feel good. (And Mrs. Obama would like you to know it's also good cardio.)
Step Seven: Appreciate
We are living in an extraordinary moment in the country's history and we are so privileged to have shared the same planet as Michelle Obama. Technically, we've all breathed the same air that she has. One way to appreciate that is to fill mason jars will air, label them "Michelle Obama's breath" and save them all around your house. That's definitely not weird at all.
Step Eight: Acceptance
The rumors are true. We've got to let her go live her life. We should probably only call her once a week for a while. And definitely not after 7 p.m. But it'll be fine. And if we're ever feeling lost, we can just open one of those mason jars and breath the same air one more time.
"The Rev. David Johnston Norse (Left) and R. Eric Thomas (Right) were married Oct. 15 in Philadelphia..."
"Mr. Thomas, 35, is the assistant to the director of the school of dance at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia and is a playwright there. His most recent play, “Time Is on Our Side,” was produced by Simpatico Theater Project. He also writes a daily humor column for Elle.com..."
good grief what a bunch of horsecrap.
Send a bag to the old bag.
If there was a FR award for Most Barf Inducing Screed of the Week, you’d win it.
Bye, wookie! *waves*
School children will no longer starve and we’ll have a true First LADY, again.
The Obama’s aren’t going to just go away. I can see them doing stuff to try to outshine the Trumps. Might be better if the President Elect moves a lot of activities out of DC.
What a buffoon this guy is.
Steps 6 thru 8 are from the article, not from me (article was over the 300 word limit)
Eight steps?
1. open the door
2. tell them to get out!
3. they walk out the door
4. yell “and don’t come back”
5. slam door shut
is that an implied seat cushion, lol? maybe they can sell it on Let Go
How do you say goodbye to a Wookiee?
She always seemed like a hateful woman to me. I will not miss her.
Like an STD..
I know. But you win for the post. ;-)
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to mop up....
“Who can say why Michelle Obama loves vegetables as much as she does...”
With a body like hers, she loves burgers, fries, and chocolate shakes a hell of a lot more than she “loves” vegetables.
Step nine: Drink the kool-aid.
Step 1: Put on a wookie suit
Step 2: Arrive at departure in a sewer sucker
Step 3: Stand at attention like your getting an intergalactic medal
Step 4: Blow kisses
Step 5: Offer her your basketball
Step 6: Tell her she looks fabulous in yoga pants
Step 7: Offer advice on how she can make her feet look smaller
Step 8: Wave goodbye as her SUV pulls away
Why would it take 8 steps? Here’s how I would do it:
“Goodbye!”
...
...
See there? One easy step...
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