Rodney Dangerfield: My wife woke me up for sex. Then she watched me.
Redd Foxx: My wife is ugly, for no particular reason. Just ugly. But she can sing like a bird. Sometimes I shake her in the middle of the night and say, “Wake up, dammit, and sing something!””
Rodney Dangerfield:
My wife and I made a deal - we only smoke after sex.
I’ve had the same pack for 2 years...but my wife is up to 3 packs a day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQLv7CG10B4
Put another log on the fire.
“The therapist said the wife and I should talk to each other during sex. Two nights later she called me from the Holiday Inn!”
Also the great Dangerfield.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I’ll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.